2010 in Review

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?



Gave birth. THAT was a doozy. The actual birth part wasn’t so bad, it was mostly the 10 hours of labor leading up to the birth part. I hope I never have to feel that kind of physical pain again EVER.


2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?


Um, I guess I didn’t make any resolutions for 2010. I don’t generally do that anyway, because I feel that New Year’s is overrated as far as NEW! BEGINNINGS! I have an ongoing resolution to get healthy, which means losing weight and taking better care of myself, but it’s truly ongoing.


3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Me! Karen had baby boy numero dos (his name is Finn) and lots of Facebook friends – it seems like every day someone new is pregnant…


4. Did anyone close to you die?


No, although my dear friend Jeanne lost her brother in January. He and I had been close friends many years ago, and his death was horribly sad because I loved him and I love her.



5. What countries did you visit?


Ha. Next question.


6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?


Less stress brought on by my own personal tendency to freak out. I’m trying to learn to be less high strung.


7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?


April 16 – that’s when my tiny baby was born!


8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?


Learning to be a parent to a newborn. It was so much harder than I ever thought it would be, but worth every single screamy, up-all-nighty second.


9. What was your biggest failure?


There has to be something, but nothing HUGE jumps out at me. Maybe a parade of small but fixable failures?


10. Did you suffer illness or injury?


Not really.


11. What was the best thing you bought?


Our new car. We finally have a vehicle that fits everyone AND can fit all the gear it takes for a family of five to go somewhere. I LOVE it.


12. Where did most of your money go?


Probably to baby stuff? Those little boogers are expensive!


13. What did you get really excited about?


Piper! All her little (and BIG) milestones that I get to see every day. The fact that after nearly a year of Chris and my dad working weekends, our basement is almost finished and looks so awesome!


14. What song will always remind you of 2010?


“Break your Heart” by Taio Cruz and Ludacris. Best. Song. Ever.


15. Compared to this time last year, are you:



– happier or sadder? Happier.


– thinner or fatter? Thinner (what with the not being pregnant anymore), but also probably thinner than the year before as I lost all my pregnancy weight and then some!


– richer or poorer? About the same maybe?


16. What do you wish you’d done more of?


SLEPT. But that can’t be helped.



17. What do you wish you’d done less of?


Worried. But again, I’m a worrier. And I’ll try to do better this year.



18. How did you spend Christmas?


We did all the big stuff Christmas Eve, since we had the kids that day, and so Christmas day was pretty chill. I put in earplugs and took a fantastic two hour nap while my mom played with Piper. It was the best day ever.


19. What was your favorite TV program?


There are a few – Psych, Burn Notice, CSI and CSI:NY, the new Sherlock Holmes


20. What were your favorite books of the year?


I seriously read so many books this year that I can’t even tell you. I loved all the new stuff from John Sandford, Stephen White, Sara Paretsky, Faye Kellerman.


21. What was your favorite music from this year?

I love Pink’s new song, Taio Cruz, a few random artists here and there. I’ll tell you who I did NOT like though (and only because I keep seeing him pop up on the ‘best of’ lists) and that’s Kanye West. He may be a musical genius, but he is a total fail as a person, and that taints his music for me.


22. What were your favorite films of the year?


Films, hmm. Don’t know what those are. I can barely get through a tv show…


23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?


I was 34 and I went out to dinner the night BEFORE my birthday, as the night OF my birthday I was checking into the hospital to have a baby the next day.


24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?


I can’t think of a thing. My year was awesome.


25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?


Let’s see – first half, maternity clothes and sweatpants. Second half, anything that wasn’t sweatpants because I was so sick of them by then. Oh, and baby spit. I hear that slobber is SO 2011.


26. What kept you sane?


My mother, believe it or not. If it weren’t for all of the help she gave me with Piper and keeping my house from falling into a pig sty, I would have struggled even more than I did those first few months. Also, Mandy. I love to talk to her on the phone about any and everything, mostly about kids, but also just to talk to a friend my age on a pretty much daily basis makes me feel less like I’m isolated in babyland. Not that I would change being home with Piper, because I definitely wouldn’t. But sometimes it’s nice to talk to other grown up people. Plus, her advice and generosity are such a blessing.


27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.


That I am much stronger than I thought I was and capable of more than I thought I was. The first few months with Piper were hard, because she was struggling to adjust to life on the “outside” and I was struggling to figure out what she needed. Never in my life have I felt more like giving up, and never in my life have I not been able to just give up. If something was too hard, I didn’t have to do it, I just gave up and moved on. But there was no such thing in this situation – I had to stay up with a crying baby all night. I had to figure out by trial and error what the best way to comfort her was. Giving up was simply not an option, and so I realized that I am able to do a lot more than I thought I could. Every day is a different challenge (in a good way, usually) and so I just roll with it. If it’s a hard day or night, I just figure tomorrow will be different. Now I just have to remember to apply that to every aspect of my life and I’ll be golden!

It's all about the wordplay

So Abby does a lot of writing in school, which I think is a great way for them to learn new words and also to express themselves. She loves to write, and writes some really cute journal entries, which she lets me read.

Her teacher encourages them to spell a word how they think it should be spelled – sounding it out, etc., which is probably a good thing for the teacher’s sanity, otherwise she’d spend all day spelling words for every kid in the class. What it is also good for is comic relief and puzzle solving. Abby brings home papers and I have to read the whole thing and try to translate what it is she’s writing about. I'm great at word puzzles, but sometimes I'm like "whaaaaa....??" Some recent examples:

She was writing a sort of book report/book summary about a girl who stays home sick from school. The first thing that leaps out at me from the page are the words “gast facking.” WHAT? What kind of books are my second grader reading? So I read the entire thing and figure out that the girl stayed home from school even though she wasn’t really sick. She was gast facking. Or, if you speak English, “just faking.”

She wrote a journal entry about things she likes to eat, and said that once she’s done with dinner, she’s going to have “a hagmucis ice crim sanwich.” I obviously got the ice cream sandwich part, but was stumped over “hagmucis” and also, it sounded gross. When I asked her what that meant, she said it was “humungous.”

Her journal entries are super cute – she talks a lot about Piper and how cute she is and how much she loves her. She also wrote this whole entry about how Riley is mean and never nice to her and a lot of very unflattering examples of how Riley is awful, and then finishes it with how Riley is actually not that bad, as sisters go. On the other hand, Riley is currently writing a fictional story where Abby is a total brat, so I feel that as long as it’s only literary retaliation, it’s ok. They get along great 90% of the time, and for that I am hagmucisly thankful.

Come (Shutter)fly with me

So today I’m spreading the word that Shutterfly has some seriously awesome holiday card designs this year. Before I get into that though, I’ll tell you my experience with them – in a little essay called “Why I love Shutterfly.”

When Chris and I got married (actually, it was our wedding reception in the summer of ’09 vs. our actual wedding day, which was fall of ’08. Anyway) I took our many fabulous pictures and made a photo book. I love to scrapbook, but I know myself and I knew that I would never get around to choosing the pictures I loved, printing them out in various sizes, designing the pages, etc. etc. etc. So instead, I used Shutterfly to make a really beautiful book. I got a few extra copies and gave them to my parents and Chris’ parents as a Christmas gift, and everyone loved them. This is only a sample, but maybe you get the gist.

Which brings me to the holiday cards. I am picky about my holiday cards. I want them to be classy and attractive and not always just red and green. I’m a fan of blue and snowflakes and ornaments and other pretty holiday elements. Especially this year, as I plan to dress the girls in purples and blues for the picture. So below are a couple of my favorites:

And if none of those strike your fancy, there are roughly 745 other designs in all price ranges to choose from. I’m not exaggerating – there are actually 745 other designs.

The other awesome thing that Shutterfly features is perfect for people like my parents who have everything they want and are ridiculously hard to buy presents for. However, THIS year, they have an adorable grandbaby, and I have like ONE MILLION pictures of her, so what better thing to do than make them a calendar featuring their favorite person ever? There are a ton of cute themes for the calendar background, and it’s a great idea to showcase babies or weddings or the year in pictures or travel (Alice, that means you, you world traveler!).

Anyway, the bottom line is that you should check it out. And as a bonus for my blogging friends, if you check out the Shutterfly holiday cards, love what you see, and write a post about it, you can get 50 FREE cards! Yay! So get on that bandwagon and go to this link to learn how to get your cards.

You now have no excuse not to send out cards this year.

Confessions of a blog neglecter

So ever since I met Chris and it became clear that we were in this for the long haul, I’ve had sort of a hard time blogging. Mostly because all of the sudden my life changed from single Amber to stepmom Amber, and I had all of this ADJUSTING to do. Like having two small children in my life. Like maintaining and enjoying my relationship with Chris. Like moving out of the area where my family and friends lived into a town where I knew NO ONE (which isn’t as horrible as it sounds, because the town is only like 30 minutes away. But still). There were other things too, but those were kind of the major ones.


So now it’s been 4 years since we started dating, and I realized that I should be writing some of this stuff down. I’ve been married for two years, and I have a 6 month old baby in addition to my two sweetie pie stepdaughters. I want to write this down for me, so that I remember what went on, but I also want to write it down for my kids, so that they know that I wasn’t just the rule-setting, house-organizing, fun-ruining mom type. I have another identity in there, I just have to make sure I don’t lose it.


Two years ago I made the decision to be a stay-at-home mom. I had the opportunity to cut my hours at my job and do it from home. It went ok for a while, but due to the fact that my boss was a complete asshole and then he also hired a psychopath to pick up my slack (and really, despite my tendency to exaggerate, these two things are ACTUALLY TRUE), I looked for and found another job. I still work from home, but I work for an organization that is a dream as far as employers go. I’m guaranteed a minimum amount of hours and can work more if I have the desire and time. No real deadlines, no micromanagement – awesome. So I’m blessed in the job department. It was really great when I was pregnant, because since I was sick all of the time, I never had to deal with an office or sick days, and I had the freedom to work whenever I got the chance. It’s also great with a new baby, because I do what I can when I can and I don’t have to worry about whether I should be working instead of playing with my baby.


I love my life. I love my husband, who is so helpful and such a good dad and a hard worker and just all-around terrific. I love my two big girls, who are totally smitten with their baby sister and help me a lot by playing with her while I fix dinner or take a shower. I love my parents, who, speaking of smitten, think my baby is the best thing to ever happen. EVER. My mom comes over twice during the week to play, and she and my dad both come over on the weekends (my dad and Chris are finishing our basement), so I get a break and can run errands or work or whatever.

Again though, it’s an adjustment, because I am a people person and I have a hard time having no one to talk to all day except a baby. Granted, she listens really well, but she’s still lacking on the response front. Apparently that gets better once they’re older. Anyway, I feel a little lonely and isolated sometimes. However, I wouldn’t change a thing, because I am thankful every day that I can stay home with my baby and be home when the kids get back from school, and that I am not stressed out having to work full time and fit in dinners and family time and baby time.


So. I know I’ve probably said this before, but I’m working on writing more on here as an outlet and because it’s always been fun. I suppose I shouldn’t worry about the identity part – that will sort itself out eventually. See, I already feel so much better!

Ode to Pregnancy

I'm back! Twice in one week - don't get used to it. Anyhow, to answer your questions Alice, YES, I am indeed pregnant, and NO, you didn't really miss anything because I didn't blog at all in 2009.

So, since we're on the subject and all, let's talk about how pregnancy isn't at all what I expected. Actually, I'm not sure what I thought it would be like, but no one ever told me how one day I would be walking around all normal, and the next day I would lose total control of my body for the next 10 months. Isn't pregnancy supposed to be rainbows and magic and puppies and whatever?

Because I'm awesome, the way I found out I was pregnant was because I thought I had a really terrible hangover. I woke up one morning after a "girls night out" and I felt AWFUL. Which was a little surprising, since I hadn't really drank THAT much the night before, but I felt nauseous and had heartburn and just blech. I didn't think much about it, but when the nausea continued and all I wanted to eat were mashed potatoes and gravy, well, I started to get suspicious. Two weeks later, I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. That's when the fun started.

So. THE SYMPTOMS.
Oh, I had morning sickness alright. And afternoon sickness and evening sickness as well. I haven't eaten fish since I got pregnant because the smell is too terrible. For about the first 3 months, Chris either had to cook with me supervising from a distance, or he had to bring something home. Rolling waves of nausea all the time and the fact that I would pretty much throw up whatever I ate made eating a challenge. Allegedly this would stop after the first 12 weeks. HA. It lasted for 5 months - and there are still days when I eat something and then get violently ill later. TMI? Probably. It was actually sort of amusing sometimes (you know, looking back) because many mornings I would lay in bed and just gag. For no reason. I couldn't even talk about food without gagging and PLEASE cats, do not breathe on me with your cat food breath. WHERE ARE THE RAINBOWS?

Also, everyone in the world wears way too much perfume when you're pregnant. Because he's a cowboy, Kid Rock can smell a pig from a mile away, however, since I'm pregnant, I can smell EVERYTHING from a mile away. At least I'm to the point now where I won't start gagging immediately. Usually.

Okay, so we made it past the first trimester, which was good, because I could start to ease up on my constant worrying about miscarrying. It seemed like a month was a really long time to go between doctor's appointments because I had to wait that long to hear the heartbeat and it always made me feel better. Because the worrying was constant. I can already tell I'm going to be THAT parent.

Second trimester rolled around and I started wearing maternity clothes. I pretty much love that. Who doesn't love stretchy waist pants? Although I will say that it has been hard to find reasonably priced maternity tops that aren't FUGLY. Seriously, maternity designers. It's bad enough that your stomach and boobs and various other body parts are changing shape and getting larger by the second - please don't make me wear ugly-ass prints and clingy fabric and unflattering necklines. Luckily Old Navy has good clothes, as does the maternity outlet store by my house. Because I'm at the point now where my long sleeve t shirts barely fit, much less cover my stomach. And I do have to leave the house now and then. I was still pretty barfy until a couple of weeks ago, but it's getting better. At least there's now a less than 50% chance I'll throw up what I ate most of the time.

So. Exit the barfies, enter the heartburn. OH. MY. GOD. THE. PAIN. (Can you tell how great I'm going to be in childbirth if I think heartburn is going to kill me? This is going to be good.) I have never had problems with heartburn, so this is new to me. And because of the nausea, I wasn't about to eat the disgusting chalky Tums - bad going down, probably worse on the return trip. So I drank a lot of milk. Which occasionally helped, but seriously - this was some really wicked heartburn. Finally like 2 weeks ago, my dr. told me I could take Zantac, which has made my life so much better. I try not to take it every day, but it helps a ton. Excuse me, pregnancy? HEARTBURN IS NOT PUPPIES. WHERE ARE THE PUPPIES?

I'm getting to the point now where I can almost not see my feet. And that I have to be careful when cooking not to burn my belly on the stove. My booth-sitting days at restaurants are almost over, and navigating through smallish spaces without knocking something over with my stomach gets trickier all the time. It also makes it difficult to get up from laying down. Being in bed and having to change positions or get up in the night for the millionth time to pee is really difficult. My hips hurt and my back hurts and I need pillows propping me up and supporting me in various places in order to get sort of comfortable. I usually sleep on my stomach, but clearly that's out, so I've had to adjust to sleeping on my side. I actually rarely sleep well, because with all of the flopping around like a fish I do to get OUT of bed, coupled with the squirreling around I have to do to get comfortable when I get back IN bed, well, it wakes a person up. I'M STILL WAITING FOR THE RAINBOWS.

So. Even though all of this sounds horribly negative and it seems like I'm not thrilled to be pregnant, that's not true at all. I am definitely thrilled. I am really excited to meet this little tiny person when she comes out in April. Maybe the puppies and the rainbows aren't showing up, but there is definitely magic. I am amazed at what the human body is capable of - making another human inside. It's crazy. And that that little bundle is capable of controlling how you feel - probably for the rest of your life. We saw on an ultrasound about 2 months ago that we're having a little girl, and everyone is so excited. The girls are so cute and looking forward to a sister. They always pat my stomach and say goodnight to the baby or goodbye when they leave. Abby's head is right about stomach level, so sometimes she gives my stomach a kiss. It's really sweet. And though Chris really wanted a boy, he's happy to have another little girl that will love him SO much, just like his little girls do right now. I'm happy to have a girl, because girls and their moms have special relationships, and it will be fun to have a friend like my mom has me for a friend. Oh, and don't get me started on how funny my mom is about her first grandchild. My parents are really excited.

So yeah. The physical parts of pregnancy aren't always the best, BUT. Once you feel that little person swimming around and kicking in there, it makes all the lame stuff way less lame, and you know for sure that it's TOTALLY going to be worth it in the end.

Because I feel like I should write this stuff down...

You know, for posterity.

Here are 3 reasons I don't sleep well at night:

1. Chris is the weirdest breather at night. His breathing patterns change constantly - and sometimes scare the crap out of me. Like last night, he was breathing through his nose with this high pitched whistle that made me dream that a baby was crying. He later told me that I punched him and mumbled something he didn't understand. In fact, the way I know he's awake in the night is when he breathes quietly - like a normal person.

2. I have a spoiled cat. Baby Kitty had to go to the vet yesterday for a teeth cleaning, which involved her being put under. Therefore, she couldn't eat anything past midnight the night before. Booger decided at 3:30 a.m. that he was DEFINITELY starving to death. There was no doubt in his mind, and by golly, since he was suffering, WE would also suffer. I'm not kidding when I say he meowed and whined for 3 straight hours. I shut him out of the bedroom, which muffled it, but man. If he wasn't the cutest cat in the world most of the time, I would have done something drastic.

3. Pregnancy prepares you for never sleeping well again. Not only do I have to pee about 47 times a night, even getting to the bathroom is a chore. I have to disentangle myself from the covers (which I'm half in and half out of because I'm usually always HOT), extract myself from the body pillow, hoist my ass out of bed (no small feat, I tell you), and THEN I can walk to the bathroom. Once I get back into bed, it takes quite some time for me to get comfortable again and by this time, either I'm totally awake or I have to pee again. Or both.

I might have more later, but I have to pee. And maybe take a nap to make up for all the time I spend at night not sleeping.

Get up, stand up

I may have mentioned this before, but I hate politics. I hate politicians and I hate all of the bullshit that goes along with campaigning. That being said, I ALWAYS vote.

To be honest, I probably wouldn’t be much of a voter if my mom didn’t push me so much. She made sure I was registered to vote when I was 18 and all the times when I’m like “mom, I do NOT care about this”, she’s always told me that it’s my right and it’s important. So, every election, I get out my blue book (or find it online) and I research the amendments and I vote. And over time, I’ve realized that it IS important and I actually like to vote.

This election, I still hate politics. I can’t wait for this day to be over so that I can stop hearing and seeing all the dirty campaigning and the underhandedness and the stupidity. I’m totally interested in the outcome, because either way, it’s historic.

The difference with this election is that I actually care about something presented on the ballot – and it’s something that isn’t even on MY ballot – I can’t vote NO on Proposition 8 because it’s a ballot issue in California and obviously I don’t live there.

The reason I care so much about it is because it concerns the rights of someone I love very much. Beth (who’ve I’ve mentioned many times before) has been my friend since we were six years old. She’s been my moral compass, the person I ask advice from, the person I know will always protect my secrets, and the person who knows me the absolute best. She has supported me and loved me through the many MANY questionable decisions I’ve made, and been happy with me for all the great things that have happened. She never fails to send flowers on special days – birthdays, Christmas, even Mother’s Day – and she recently sent me something really special for my wedding. She is certainly one of the most caring and loyal friends anyone could ever ask for.

Seven years ago, our group also gained Merideth, when she and Beth had a lovely commitment ceremony in Sonoma. Meri and Beth complement each other beautifully, whether it be in home repairs or the kitchen or personality. Meri has become a friend, not just because she’s Beth’s wife, but because she is a genuinely cool person who I probably would have picked for a friend anyway. Together, they have a marriage that is a great example of a loving and caring partnership.

In June, California began to allow gay marriage, so after seven years of being “committed” to each other, Beth and Meri were finally able to get legally married. Now, five months later, California wants to revoke their rights. After reading about this issue, I have to say that it’s really the stupidest thing EVER. Seriously, the law makes it so easy for straight couples to get married – in Colorado, you can marry your cousin! If you need a green card, all you have to do is marry someone who’s a citizen, and boom! Citizenship and insurance and everything! Please.

You know what? Gay marriage isn’t going to destroy the (already questionable) moral fabric of the U.S. It's not the beginning of a slippery slope into horribly deviant behavior. If you don’t want to marry someone of the same gender, it’s your decision not to. If you don’t want to be around people of the same gender who are married, well, find new friends. If you want to propagate inequality, maybe you should do that on your own time and not use the Bible and the law to back you up. If you want to teach your children that denying rights to people is ok, I sure hope they grow up to never need that right.

I mean really – look at history – women couldn’t vote, interracial marriages were forbidden, abortion was illegal. All things that were (and still are) frightening and foreign to some people. But instead of accepting the status quo, people fought for their rights. Not to be cliché, but isn’t that what America was founded on? Rights were being denied in England and so people stood up and said no. They kept saying no - no to slavery, no to segregation, no to Hitler and communists and terrorists. No to ignorant people who couldn't look past their own issues and realize that this is about doing what is right and what is humane and what is decent.

So today, I want California to say NO. Say no to bigotry. Say no to fear disguised as legislation. Say no to hateful people claiming to represent God and the church when the truth is, God and the church DO NOT represent them. Say no for your gay friends and family. Say no for Beth and Meri and my aunt and her partner – say no for our kids, who need to be taught that love isn’t something to be ashamed of and that strong, loving marriages should be celebrated and honored.

And to Beth and Meri – it may be small comfort and it may be none at all, but know that I love you both and to me, no matter what, you will always be married and you will always be part of my family.

Trick or Treat or Wine

I went trick or treating as an adult for the first time on Friday night. Last year we had the kids, but I stayed home and handed out candy while Chris took the girls around.

We went with some friends of ours in their neghborhood, which was way better than staying in our neighborhood. Our neighborhood doesn't have a lot of kids and so I would've been bored and lonely. Plus, it was such a nice night that I was glad I got to wander around.

I will say, Halloween is way different as an adult. Maybe it was just how I grew up, but I was surprised at the number of parents carrying around adult beverages while trick or treating. Of course, Chris and I and our friends were carrying around our cups of hot spiced wine (yum!) but I was still interested to see that we were one of many. Maybe it's because it's a neighborhood with a lot of young parents in their early thirties, who knows.

Anyway, the kids had a great time and made a huge haul, which is really what the day is all about, right? They're already talking about what they're going to go as next year, which I don't take real seriously as I know it's going to change about a billion times. However, here are some pictures of this year's costumes - I made them and it was the first year they'd had homemade costumes.

A monkey

A S'moreGangster Darth Vader - he didn't actually go out like that, he was just trying on the mask...

Identity

I'm having a hard time posting these days because I'm having a hard time figuring out my blog's identity. I think ideally, I'd like it to be like Sundry's blog - some family stuff and some personal stuff, but always good to read. I fear turning into one of those people whose life revolves solely around their kids and consequently, who have nothing to talk about except for boring everyday kid stuff. Not that being kid-focused is bad, but I want to retain some sense of not taking everything so seriously. Which really, I shouldn't worry about because I don't. But you know, I do like to worry...

Anyway, I've had this blog for nearly four years and I feel like it needs a change. My entire life has changed pretty drastically in the past year or so, so why not embrace that and change things up a little. The page has always looked the same, so I need a new look. And I need to figure out what to talk about and how to best do that. You know, just a few things. I think most importantly, I need to remember that this is where I put things that I want to remember and that I should only be concerned with what I think of it. It's hard to do that in a forum where people comment on what amounts to your journal entries, but I figure if my kids ever felt like reading all this one day, they need an accurate and complete picture of who I am now.

Anyhoo. I'm working on my identity and trying to post more - just to get in the habit of it again. Then by the time I figure everything out, I'll be a posting machine! Ha. Let's not get carried away.

Why having Kids is Handy

Because I can unashamedly listen to Chris Brown and David Archuleta and LOVE IT, because the girls wanted to listen to it. I can watch Spongebob Squarepants and assorted shows on the Disney Channel and that’s ok, because I’m watching it with the girls. Pizza for dinner? The girls. Spent too much money at Target? The girls.

See? Really handy.

Seven Random Things

Thanks to Mindee, you guys get a post! I tried to think of seven random things that I haven't already talked about on here in the past three or four years. So here they are - maybe new, maybe variations. And I'm supposed to tag people, but we all know I never do that, so if you feel the need to post seven random things on your own blog, great. If not, post them in the comments. Or don't - it's a free country still, right?

1. I much prefer to eat out of sectioned plates than any other. As they don’t really make non-disposable dishware for ADULTS in that style, I often eat dinner off of two plates and a bowl.

2. I read every night before bed, and inevitably have to get up a minimum of 5 times while reading to pee. It’s totally psychological – I don’t have to go that bad, but I am paranoid that I’ll wake up in the night and have to go and I HATE getting up.

3. The older I get, the more I understand my mother. Because no matter how hard I try, I’m totally turning into her.

4. I am not the least bit afraid of any bug (with the exception of poisonous ones, but that’s just being smart). Big, small, whatever, I am totally fine with it. But the tiniest snake will make me completely freak out and feel like I’m going to faint.

5. When I was little, I could never go to bed without saying “I love you” to my parents. In case they died before the morning. That was my morbid little kid reasoning, for real.

6. For all of the falls and injuries I’ve sustained in my lifetime, the first time I ever broke a bone was on my 30th birthday. I think we all remember the boot and how awesome it turned out to be.

7. I have had 16 jobs in 16 years.

Along this same line (and since I'm using other people for inspiration - this one is courtesy of Cheryl) if you have any questions you'd like me to answer, post those in the comments as well.

Ch-ch-Changes

Ok, so I know I haven’t written in over a month. My excuse is that I’ve been busy, but one of the real reasons is that I felt like I didn’t have much to say. Everyday life ceased to be interesting, and that’s when I realized something was wrong. Since when could I not find humor in the mundane?

I’ll tell you since when – since I became overwhelmed with everything.

My job title is “marketing coordinator”, but what I really do is herd cats. I have to wrangle a bunch of men, many who are arrogant and have no clue how to manage people – I have to get them to meet my deadlines so that I can meet theirs, and I have to do this while maintaining a good attitude, hiding my frustration and stress (because like skittish animals, it freaks them out if you show fear) and generally hap-hap-happying through my day.

I didn’t notice it at first, but I was losing the happy. Work was making me lose sleep and feel sick with dread in the mornings. I couldn’t not show my stress and frustration, and as predicted, the guys didn’t know how to handle that. On top of that, my boss left the company and I was unbelievably bummed about that, especially since I didn’t really like the new guy.

At home, I was also flailing. The planning and patience and organization it takes to parent the children was suffering. Every evening was a rush to pack in sports practice, violin practice, homework, dinner and oh yeah, maybe some down time to chill before everyone gets herded off to bed so they can wake up early and we can start all over.

I started to feel about my job like I felt almost 3 years ago when I had a total breakdown. I told Chris that not only could my mental health not take another episode like that, but that now it would affect him and the kids and that just wasn’t going to work.

We talked about it, and came up with a solution. I would cut down my hours to half time and then work mostly from home. I could stay home with Abby until she goes to afternoon kindergarten and be home when she and Riley got home in the afternoon. No more day care costs, which essentially take up ¼ of my paycheck. No more having to rush home to make dinner, no more piles of clean but unfolded laundry, no more trying to get homework done in the short time between getting home from work and bedtime. No more worrying about who would take a day off to stay home with a sick kid or saying no to going on field trips because no one can take off work.

I talked to the big boss at work, who was really understanding. He saw that I had been struggling and he understood that trying to do it all is hard – especially since I am still fairly new to the whole parent gig. He told me he wanted me to be happy and we’d work it out. And we have. I will work 20-30 hours a week, mainly from home. I can come into the office for a couple of hours in the afternoon while Abby is at school, and because I have other mom friends who stay home and since my own mom doesn’t work, if there is an emergency, I have backup.

Right now, we’re in the process of finding someone to take over my other hours. This is a good thing, because I was basically handling a lot more than I could, well, handle. Once we find that person, I will set up my office and start working at home. I gave the company until the end of the year to find someone so that we’re not in limbo forever, and so I’m patiently waiting until that happens.

In the meantime, I’m slowly finding the happy again. Chris is the best – he’s so supportive and loves me so much and makes my life so much better just by being around. And I’m feeling better because there’s a light at the end of the tunnel – I can look at the chaos of our house and our lives and know that I’m doing the best I can right now, and that it won’t be like this indefinitely. It’s so comforting.

So. That’s it – the beginning of the next chapter. Let the bedazzling begin!

Just kidding.

I know who my friends are

I’m blessed to have the best friends ever. There’s nothing cooler than having people in your life who you’ve known forever and better yet, who’ve known you forever. The best example of this is Beth – we were inseparable as kids – from about 1st grade until 9th grade. And now, even though she lives far away, I talk to her more than I talk to anyone else – it’s the magic of email. I am so thankful for her – for a lot of reasons, but one of which is that I can tell her the things I would be horrified if anyone else knew I even THOUGHT them, and she never judges me. Plus, she makes me laugh.

I’m thankful for ALL my girls from high school – it’s so fun watching the people who you grew up with have babies and get married. Surreal, sometimes, but fun, especially when I think back to our escapades in younger days.

I’m thankful for the wide circle of friends I have – I have the youth group kids who treat me like I’m one of them, and who I can completely let down with.

I have my soccer mom friends – three moms from Abby’s soccer team that knew each other already but who were fun and we hung out on the sidelines laughing and making fun of our children learning to play soccer. We went out to dinner the other night and drank a ton of wine and laughed our asses off – it was so fun. We put the kids back on the same team for fall season because we wanted to hang out again.

My work friends – we made a four square court in the parking lot behind our building and a bunch of us played four square all lunch hour yesterday and laughed and laughed. There's a group of us that hang out quite a bit, and we just went camping two weekends in a row and had the best time.

My fellow adult leaders on the youth group trips – it’s funny how you can meet someone for the first time one day, and a week later, it’s like you’ve known each other forever. All of the adult leaders at camp did a skit where we worked in an ice cream shop and three people came in and ordered shakes, but our blender was broken. So all of the “workers” took marshmallows and bananas and chocolate and chewed them up or melted ice cream in our mouths and spit it all into cups. Then the three “customers” drank the shakes. The kids freaked – they totally did not think they’d actually drink it. I get to see them once a year, sometimes more, but it’s as if no time has passed in between. They’re so much fun.

I have Sally and Nancy and Anita – my three extra moms who are helping me figure out logistics for our wedding – they all live next door to each other and have been friends forever and they take excellent care of me. They’re a perfect example of how friendships can weather a lot of storms and how no matter what happens, you always have your girls – they truly value each other and make time for each other and it’s really cool.

So yeah. I couldn't ask for better people in my life.

I couldn't possibly fit it all into one post

I have had the busiest week and work and maybe like the worst two weeks or so at my job since I started working here. So I haven’t had a lot of time to write, and even though I recently got internet at home, half the time I can’t even muster up the mental energy to get online.

Anyhoo, that’s neither here nor there. I was thinking today about how much I have – like the ridiculous amount of blessings in my life. I have awesome parents who not only love me, but love Chris and especially the girls. A perfect example of this was a few weeks ago when we needed my parents to babysit for us on a Friday night. My mom was like, “sorry, we’re leaving for Breckenridge on Friday afternoon”. So whatever, I started looking for someone else (which is difficult because I’m very picky about who I’ll leave the girls with) and then my mom called me back “Um, your dad was mad that we couldn’t watch the girls on Friday, so he was wondering if we could take them to Breckenridge with us.” Hmmm. Let me think ab- OKAY! So they took them with them, and Chris and I went up there Saturday and we all stayed another night and had a great time.

I was always afraid that because I didn’t get married earlier that my parents would never get the chance to enjoy grandkids or that my kids wouldn’t understand what amazing grandparents I KNEW my parents would be. So having the girls in our lives is a gift all around – of course I love them, in fact, I love them as if they were really mine - and I love them even more because I get to see how happy being grandparents makes my mom and dad. And they’re a gift to my parents, because they love little kids and my mom was just dying for little girls to play with like when I was little and my dad couldn’t wait to read them all of he and I’s favorite books from my childhood. So awesome.

I’m blessed to have Chris – he is the best (future) husband I could have possibly asked for. My mom told me about a conversation she and my dad had with this couple who has been like our grandparents – they’re in their 90s and very crotchety. Anyway, they asked my parents “what makes you think Chris is a good mate for Amber” and my dad said “well, he has a good job, he owns his own house and you can tell that he really loves Amber – he always kisses or hugs her.” Which is true – he’s always affectionate with me, but not in a space-invading way. He tells me he loves me and he does stuff so that I know he does. Like every morning he makes my coffee the way I like it and sits it on the counter in my travel mug so it’s ready when I leave for work. And besides that, we have so much fun together – laughing and talking all the time. It’s true that he’s my best friend, because we talk about everything. I really like being around him – we love each other, but we also totally enjoy each other’s company.

I'm blessed to be friends with my brother now that we're older. He's fun to be around and really funny and gifted and he sends me text messages to tell me he loves me. The age difference was hard when we were younger, but now we're allies in the parental fights and he can hang out at my house with Chris and I and drink a beer and talk. It's so weird to see him grow up, but I'm so glad that I was as old as I was when he was born because I'm able to remember his entire life.

So that's part one - blessings, the family edition.

Sad excuse for an entry

Things I’ve been doing instead of writing on my blog:

Freaking out about the overwhelming task of planning a wedding. Asking myself why we didn’t just go to Vegas. Anyone want to plan my wedding? Ha ha, just kidding. Unless you do, in which case, send me an email.

Visiting Karen and John’s ADORABLE new baby. I imagine they’re probably sick of me by now, because the child has only been alive for a little over a week and I’ve been to visit him 4 or 5 times. They’re just lucky I live 30 minutes from them now instead of 7 (like I used to) or else they’d be REALLY sick of me. I can’t help it – he’s just so precious and they are the cutest parents.

(Along those same lines, I’ve been hit by the surreal feelings of being caught between being an adult and being a kid. On the trips with the youth group to Nebraska and Montana, I especially feel it. I honestly forget that I’m an adult, because the kids treat me like I’m their age. Then I come home and I’m watching my friend have contractions and then holding this little person who we’ve been waiting so long to meet and I realize that I’m not a kid anymore. Or I go up to my parents’ condo in the mountains with Chris and the girls and I realize that the stuff we’ve said for years about me coming here with my kids is suddenly true – my mom and dad are the grandparents now and I’m the parent. SO WEIRD. And also end of ridiculously long parenthetical aside.)

Coming to the realization that in my cell phone, my parents’ number is under “Home” and that now that Chris and I finally got a land line at our house, I have to change it. Even when I had my condo, my parents’ house was still home (seriously, why would I call my condo when I’m the only one living there) – and now, I have a new home. I know, I’m weird, but I just think of stupid stuff like that and it adds to my realization that all these “child to adult” changes just KEEP HAPPENING.

Reading. NERD ALERT. Want to hear something crazy? In the past five weeks, I have read 15 books. That turns out to be 6,554 pages. Between the road trips and the free time and the evenings, I’ve been a reading machine. I’ve read everything from the newest Janet Evanovich, to Jodi Picoult (who I recently discovered and really like) to classics from the high school reading lists (because that’s what happens when you run out of books and have to borrow from teenagers) to the hottest books since Harry Potter (the Twilight series), to my usual murder and intrigue books. Seriously, we’re like at a Level 14 hojillion on the Nerd Threat scale here.

Anyway, that's the lame-ass update. In related news, I also got internet at home (finally) so that I can surf and post in a blocked-by-work-free zone. That means I can maybe post more than oh, say once a month.

In other wedding news, maybe you are the person who wants to come up with a beautiful design for our wedding website. I'm about as good understanding HTML as I am understanding mandarin chinese, but I can do basic stuff. I've looked at various sites and they're just not what I want. So ideas would be welcomed!

Trippin'

So I’m back from trip numero uno. We went to Nebraska to do work on a camp there, which was fine.

What was NOT fine was that the crazy-ass counselors there insisted on treating us like we were part of their camp – which we weren’t. Because we are adults and high school kids, we have no interest in your stupid made up prayers to songs like the Superman theme that you make the 3rd through 5th grade campers sing. Our boys are STARVING after slaving out in the woods over stuff you don’t get to, and so maybe you could make it a little easier for them to get larger portions, instead of telling them no and/or looking like we just asked if you would eat your own arm if we asked for more of something. Gah. They were horrible and if one of them would have said anything to me, I would have flipped on him. Because that’s what Jesus would have done, I’m certain of it.

What else was not fine, you might ask? The MOSQUITOES. Holy crap, I have never seen so many mosquitoes in my life. It wasn’t like “Oh – a mosquito. I will swat you and your nearby brethren and fend you off with bug spray.” It was like “OH MY GOD – THEY ARE ALL OVER YOUR BACK!!!” and then you sprayed the other person like their life depended on it. Oh, and if the spray had any less than 25% DEET in it? The mosquitoes were like “This certainly is a delicious flavor this human has added to their delectable skin”. Freaky ass mosquitoes. By the end of three days we had gone through probably 10 bottles of bug spray and yet we were all covered with bites – I wore jeans the whole time and they bit me through my jeans. I had like 12 bites on my face alone, which, coupled with the eyebrow twitch I developed (DEET poisoning, probably) made me look like Woogie from “There’s Something About Mary”.

A goat bit my finger. I got locked in a gas station bathroom. The humidity was such that standing still in the shade, I was still pouring sweat. The food was so bad that I told the cooks that I was vegetarian so that I didn’t have to eat any of the prison-grade meat they were serving. I am so bruised that it looks like I got in a fight. I kind of did - you should see the other guys - they're now MULCH (see below for explanation). HA!!

And yet? SO MUCH FUN!!! The crappy stuff isn’t actually that crappy, because it’s all part of the adventure. And since everyone is going through it, it turns out to be funny. I learned how to not only run, but fix an industrial wood chipper. I turned dead trees into mulch for three days, along with my trusty sidekick Katie – we had earplugs in and so we got to where we could communicate effectively solely with looks. There was a barn there with assorted animals, including a motherless baby goat who needed to be bottle fed. I fed him and he was SO ADORABLE with his little milk mustache – he would run up to you and wag his tail and want you to pet him and pick him up. It was the adult goat who bit me – I was petting it and it was sweetly licking my hand before it chomped down on my finger, breaking the skin and making me yell (in my head) “Aaaaagggghhhhh!! Goat Cooties!” And the guy who ran the camp was so nice and so patient and so appreciative of all the work that we did, so it totally made up for the jackassery of the counselors. Besides Katie and I’s owning of the chipper, the rest of the group used a log splitter to cut logs, mowed a lot of high grass, dug holes, weed whacked, spread mulch on the trails, carved out steps in the side of the mountain down to a little amphitheater and basically pitched in to do whatever would help the rest of the group. My kids are so awesome.

After we left the camp on Thursday morning, we went west to Sparks, NE where we stayed at Dryland Aquatics. Thankfully, there were many less mosquitoes there. We spent Friday tubing down the Niobrara River on these giant tubes that were like having your own individual raft. We went on the six hour float, and 90 minutes in, it started pouring rain. We were prepared to be miserable for four more hours, but luckily the sun came out and we had the best time for the rest of the day.

I guess it’s hard to impart how amazing these trips are. We just have a great time, and for a week, nothing at home seems to matter. The kids leave their cell phones at home and everyone is focused on what we’re doing. People are always saying how great it is that I give up my vacation time to do this, but really? I’m not giving up anything. Not be a cheeseball, but what I get from going is way better than anyone can imagine. You just have to be there.

Next stop? Montana. I leave Sunday morning.

Oops! Has it been three weeks already?

Heh. *Awkward silence*Um, hello again. I have now become that person who updates my blog once a month, and for that I apologize. Again. *Shuffles feet*.

I can't say though that I'll be any better this month, and here's why. Chris and I get a week to ourselves starting tomorrow, and then the deluge of STUFF! TO! DO! happens. Pretty much Chris' entire family is coming out to stay at our house for a week. That means we will have 6 extra people here in addition to the four of us. Which of course I want his family to visit, but that's just a lot of people in one place for sort of a lot of days.

Then three days after they go home, I leave for Nebraska for our mission trip. Gone for a week, home for a week, leave for Montana and gone for another week.

I just thought I'd let you know so you could, you know, plan your schedule accordingly.

In other news, I fought the rocks and the rocks won. We never did get to moving the rocks for the vegetable garden, but I am consoling myself with the thought that a) I don't have to re-landscape the entire yard THIS YEAR and also b) my first project (our front flower box) looks awesome and so the rocks didn't entirely win.

Guess what? I am REALLY GOOD at the Hannah Montana game on Wii. Chris bought it for Riley, and so I watched her play it on Friday night. Then Saturday I played and secretly? It is totally fun. And also secretly, my arms are sore today because of all the flailing with the remote. It's like Dance Dance Revolution with only your arms. And I am apparently completely out of shape.

My totally awesome boss is leaving our company and when he told me, I burst into tears. He was totally not expecting that and wasn't quite sure what to do. Because there's no crying in construction!

Anyway, that's all for now. Nothing interesting really, but you know, I like to let you know I'm still here. Skulking around your blogs and trying to think of something witty to write. Failing dismally, but at least THINKING about it...

Stuff I could've written about

Oh, hello there! It’s been a while since we talked, but you know how things get. I’m busy doing mundane everyday things that don’t lend themselves to interesting blogs. The following are titles of entries I could’ve written the past couple of weeks:

“Snuggling and reading is usually a good way to help a 5 year old go to sleep”
“Please just go to sleep because I know that despite your assurances to the contrary, you are tired”
“Hey! Bedtime comes at the same time every night! Can we make it less like a pencil in the eye and more like a simple routine?”
“Have I mentioned how much I wish you would just go to sleep?”
“Mommy is in bed now and you should be too. No, I am not coming up there AGAIN”

Or maybe:
“Dear ex-wife: you are going to have to deal with me FOREVER so you should probably be nicer to Chris about it”
“Dear ex-wife: you left for 9 weeks and magically, everyone else’s lives also continued so it is too bad if you thought that everything would fall apart while you were gone and the opposite happened”
“Dear ex-wife: Stop SAYING you’re the parent and start ACTING like the parent”
“Dear ex-wife: being a total bitch all the time helps no one”
“Dear ex-wife: Of course you can bring the children over to our house for the week a day early. But perhaps not at midnight and perhaps next time you could also bring their necessities like school uniforms and contacts”
“Dear ex-wife: Seriously, get a grip. Also, you have no idea who you’re dealing with. I’m just biding my time before I let you know”
“Dear ex-wife’s new boyfriend: Eeek. Good luck you sorry son of a bitch”

Perhaps:
“I think I’d like to have more flowers and less rocks in our yard so let’s make that happen”
“Wow, there are more rocks here than I at first thought”
“Dear god, the rocks”
“I think the flower garden will be lovely and I am ready to start clearing rocks for the vegetable garden”
“I am afraid to look at the area we picked for the vegetable garden because I know there is a daunting amount of – wait for it – rocks out there”
“Does it seem like there are more rocks over there than there were yesterday?”
“Dear god, the rocks: Part II”

So yeah. That’s about the extent of it. See all the potentially FASCINATING reading you could have had?

What might have been

Boyfriend 1 – If we would have gotten married, that would have been a total train wreck. We were only 20, and the only reason I said yes when you asked me was because I had just spent a few months living back at home with my parents and I wanted to GET OUT OF THERE! I had just changed colleges, and I had no friends yet. You were a nice guy and you treated me really well – you had a romantic side that lent itself to grand gestures – like the time you were Pledgemaster for your fraternity and you made the pledges drive from Ft. Collins to my house and sing to me on my front steps. Awesome. I don’t think you would have fit in very well with my family though. We’re all pretty loud and outgoing and you were quiet – even though you and my dad were both engineers, you never had much to talk about, which is weird because my dad can talk to anyone. Anyway, you were a great starter boyfriend – thanks for that.

Boyfriend 2 – You were great from Day 1. I met you at a party and we had mutual friends, so we ended up hanging out. Weirdly, I had just moved from Ft. Collins and you had just moved from my town to Ft. Collins. We did the long distance thing for a while, and it worked out fine, and then you came back to Denver and started back at the college I went to. You were an amazing athlete, and I learned how to ski, mountain bike and rollerblade while we were together. You were funny and silly and totally hot. You were great with kids and you even won over P, who is not that easy to win over. My mom LOVED you, which also rarely happens. However, I would have spent our life together walking all over you and you would have been too afraid to tell me you were unhappy – kind of like when we broke up and I basically had to make you say it. I probably also would have maybe cheated on you, just because it was something more interesting to do than get my way all the time. From what I hear about the girl you married, it’s probably just like that (minus the cheating), but that’s what you’re comfortable with. I know you’re probably a great dad and I’m really glad that you’re happy.

Boyfriend 3 – Wow, that would have been HORRIBLE. I loved you a lot (and I know you loved me even more) but I would have never trusted you completely. You were the kind of guy who women openly ogled when we walked by – you were the guy that dressed nicely and looked excellent in everything you wore. You treated me like a queen and you hammered into my head that I should never let anyone treat me as less than that. You were generous and fun, and we had a lot of cool adventures. But as I got older, I would have resented your jealous streak, and been mad about how much time you spent with “the boys”. Actually, we stayed together a year longer than we should have – but the four years we were together taught me more about who I wanted to spend my life with than any other relationship. Thank you for giving me confidence and strength and for making sure that I understood that I deserved the very best and to never settle for anything less than just that. I will always be grateful for you.

Not Boyfriend – Well, to write this, all we have to do is go back in the blog archives a couple of years and see how wrong you were for me. Not for any other reason than you were so damaged by your divorce that you couldn’t see past your pain into the future. Well, that and also the fact you had no clue what you wanted to do with your life. You talked college, since you had dropped out. Which I encouraged, but I knew then that we wouldn’t end up together because I didn’t want to be with someone who was still in the drifting phase of their life. I needed more stability than that, and you just weren’t at that place. Other places you were not at included every other place you would need to be in order to have a healthy relationship. The funny thing is that you were exactly what I needed – you taught me how to be understanding and patient with someone who had been hurt by a divorce. When I heard that Chris was divorced, I almost wrote him off because I didn’t want to repeat YOU. But I didn’t, and I’m so thankful that I took that leap. The funny thing is, we were still talking and hanging out when I met Chris, but the day he and I started dating, I stopped hearing from you. It’s like you disappeared, and honestly, if I hadn’t known you since we were kids, I would think maybe you were a dream or something. Thanks though. Thanks for teaching me what I needed to know.

Wedding Post 1 of 8...hojillion

Oh boy. Now you’re in for it. WEDDING TALK. I apologize for starting to talk about it so long in advance, but I can’t seem to help myself. Because it’s a WEDDING! And it’s MY WEDDING! And this time I’m going to actually get married and not just wear the ring for six months and then give it back after succumbing to all of the sense that people kept trying to talk into me!

Yes, as a sidebar, I may have mentioned that I was engaged before – when I was 20. My parents were not excited. My friends were not excited. Every single adult in my life hammered me with reasons I shouldn’t be getting married. When I drunkenly kissed one of my fiance’s fraternity brothers at a party one night, I realized maybe all the adults might have a point about the not getting married thing. So I broke it off. And have never regretted it. I’d be divorced by now, mostly because he had the personality of a pine tree and I’m not sure what I saw in him in the first place, but whatever. He was a nice guy and we actually kept in touch for a couple of years after we broke up. I heard he got married a few years ago (to the girl he dated before me – what?) and I’m glad that he’s happy.

I’M happy! We’ve picked the date (4th of July 2009), the venue (backyard wedding!), size (small) and our bridesmaids and groomsmen. Plus, I’m marrying the best guy ever, and everyone is on board, including the children. They could care less about the marrying part, the more important question is whether they will get to wear pretty dresses. Which of course they will.

Here’s where Chris gets freaked out – my bridesmaids bought their dresses before he even proposed. Ha. It’s true. But here’s why:

I’m a girl. We spend a good part of our lives thinking about our perfect wedding, hashing out details that will most likely change with taste and age and time. However, there are some things that don’t change. One of those things, for me at least, was my bridesmaids. I have had the same four best friends since high school, and they have always been the only ones I wanted in my wedding. Whenever one of us gets engaged, it’s a given that the other four will be bridesmaids. Chris and I picked out the date for the wedding a few months ago, the official proposal just hadn’t happened yet. So it wasn’t like I was TOTALLY jumping the gun.

Plus, I sort of had help. Once we picked July 4th, my little OCD brain was like “Colors! Red white and blue!” but the sensible side was like “Oh for pete’s sake. We’re not having a patriotic themed wedding.” So I emailed Beth to talk me off that ledge. We’ve been friends for 26 years – she knows how to deal with me. She suggested just using red, and then once we agreed to that, she got excited and started sending me bridesmaid dress suggestions. I thought about it for a few weeks, and then a week ago, Beth and I got serious about dress selection. We decided on black and white print dresses with red accents. So we picked out a bunch (no traditional bridesmaid dresses – strictly cocktail dresses) and narrowed the field to three. Sent the three to Kendra, Karen and Becki, and they picked their favorite. Once we settled on the dress everyone liked, within 20 minutes, they had all bought their dresses. My friends are the best!

I know there’s a year to go, but anyone who knows me knows I love a plan, plus there’s a lot to think about. Luckily, I have a ton of people who are excited as well and who are creative and awesome, so it should be fun. Because if it’s not fun, that totally defeats the purpose.

Married, you guys. I’m getting MARRIED. I still kind of can’t believe it.