I'm having a hard time posting these days because I'm having a hard time figuring out my blog's identity. I think ideally, I'd like it to be like Sundry's blog - some family stuff and some personal stuff, but always good to read. I fear turning into one of those people whose life revolves solely around their kids and consequently, who have nothing to talk about except for boring everyday kid stuff. Not that being kid-focused is bad, but I want to retain some sense of not taking everything so seriously. Which really, I shouldn't worry about because I don't. But you know, I do like to worry...
Anyway, I've had this blog for nearly four years and I feel like it needs a change. My entire life has changed pretty drastically in the past year or so, so why not embrace that and change things up a little. The page has always looked the same, so I need a new look. And I need to figure out what to talk about and how to best do that. You know, just a few things. I think most importantly, I need to remember that this is where I put things that I want to remember and that I should only be concerned with what I think of it. It's hard to do that in a forum where people comment on what amounts to your journal entries, but I figure if my kids ever felt like reading all this one day, they need an accurate and complete picture of who I am now.
Anyhoo. I'm working on my identity and trying to post more - just to get in the habit of it again. Then by the time I figure everything out, I'll be a posting machine! Ha. Let's not get carried away.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Why having Kids is Handy
Because I can unashamedly listen to Chris Brown and David Archuleta and LOVE IT, because the girls wanted to listen to it. I can watch Spongebob Squarepants and assorted shows on the Disney Channel and that’s ok, because I’m watching it with the girls. Pizza for dinner? The girls. Spent too much money at Target? The girls.
See? Really handy.
See? Really handy.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Seven Random Things
Thanks to Mindee, you guys get a post! I tried to think of seven random things that I haven't already talked about on here in the past three or four years. So here they are - maybe new, maybe variations. And I'm supposed to tag people, but we all know I never do that, so if you feel the need to post seven random things on your own blog, great. If not, post them in the comments. Or don't - it's a free country still, right?
1. I much prefer to eat out of sectioned plates than any other. As they don’t really make non-disposable dishware for ADULTS in that style, I often eat dinner off of two plates and a bowl.
2. I read every night before bed, and inevitably have to get up a minimum of 5 times while reading to pee. It’s totally psychological – I don’t have to go that bad, but I am paranoid that I’ll wake up in the night and have to go and I HATE getting up.
3. The older I get, the more I understand my mother. Because no matter how hard I try, I’m totally turning into her.
4. I am not the least bit afraid of any bug (with the exception of poisonous ones, but that’s just being smart). Big, small, whatever, I am totally fine with it. But the tiniest snake will make me completely freak out and feel like I’m going to faint.
5. When I was little, I could never go to bed without saying “I love you” to my parents. In case they died before the morning. That was my morbid little kid reasoning, for real.
6. For all of the falls and injuries I’ve sustained in my lifetime, the first time I ever broke a bone was on my 30th birthday. I think we all remember the boot and how awesome it turned out to be.
7. I have had 16 jobs in 16 years.
Along this same line (and since I'm using other people for inspiration - this one is courtesy of Cheryl) if you have any questions you'd like me to answer, post those in the comments as well.
1. I much prefer to eat out of sectioned plates than any other. As they don’t really make non-disposable dishware for ADULTS in that style, I often eat dinner off of two plates and a bowl.
2. I read every night before bed, and inevitably have to get up a minimum of 5 times while reading to pee. It’s totally psychological – I don’t have to go that bad, but I am paranoid that I’ll wake up in the night and have to go and I HATE getting up.
3. The older I get, the more I understand my mother. Because no matter how hard I try, I’m totally turning into her.
4. I am not the least bit afraid of any bug (with the exception of poisonous ones, but that’s just being smart). Big, small, whatever, I am totally fine with it. But the tiniest snake will make me completely freak out and feel like I’m going to faint.
5. When I was little, I could never go to bed without saying “I love you” to my parents. In case they died before the morning. That was my morbid little kid reasoning, for real.
6. For all of the falls and injuries I’ve sustained in my lifetime, the first time I ever broke a bone was on my 30th birthday. I think we all remember the boot and how awesome it turned out to be.
7. I have had 16 jobs in 16 years.
Along this same line (and since I'm using other people for inspiration - this one is courtesy of Cheryl) if you have any questions you'd like me to answer, post those in the comments as well.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Ch-ch-Changes
Ok, so I know I haven’t written in over a month. My excuse is that I’ve been busy, but one of the real reasons is that I felt like I didn’t have much to say. Everyday life ceased to be interesting, and that’s when I realized something was wrong. Since when could I not find humor in the mundane?
I’ll tell you since when – since I became overwhelmed with everything.
My job title is “marketing coordinator”, but what I really do is herd cats. I have to wrangle a bunch of men, many who are arrogant and have no clue how to manage people – I have to get them to meet my deadlines so that I can meet theirs, and I have to do this while maintaining a good attitude, hiding my frustration and stress (because like skittish animals, it freaks them out if you show fear) and generally hap-hap-happying through my day.
I didn’t notice it at first, but I was losing the happy. Work was making me lose sleep and feel sick with dread in the mornings. I couldn’t not show my stress and frustration, and as predicted, the guys didn’t know how to handle that. On top of that, my boss left the company and I was unbelievably bummed about that, especially since I didn’t really like the new guy.
At home, I was also flailing. The planning and patience and organization it takes to parent the children was suffering. Every evening was a rush to pack in sports practice, violin practice, homework, dinner and oh yeah, maybe some down time to chill before everyone gets herded off to bed so they can wake up early and we can start all over.
I started to feel about my job like I felt almost 3 years ago when I had a total breakdown. I told Chris that not only could my mental health not take another episode like that, but that now it would affect him and the kids and that just wasn’t going to work.
We talked about it, and came up with a solution. I would cut down my hours to half time and then work mostly from home. I could stay home with Abby until she goes to afternoon kindergarten and be home when she and Riley got home in the afternoon. No more day care costs, which essentially take up ¼ of my paycheck. No more having to rush home to make dinner, no more piles of clean but unfolded laundry, no more trying to get homework done in the short time between getting home from work and bedtime. No more worrying about who would take a day off to stay home with a sick kid or saying no to going on field trips because no one can take off work.
I talked to the big boss at work, who was really understanding. He saw that I had been struggling and he understood that trying to do it all is hard – especially since I am still fairly new to the whole parent gig. He told me he wanted me to be happy and we’d work it out. And we have. I will work 20-30 hours a week, mainly from home. I can come into the office for a couple of hours in the afternoon while Abby is at school, and because I have other mom friends who stay home and since my own mom doesn’t work, if there is an emergency, I have backup.
Right now, we’re in the process of finding someone to take over my other hours. This is a good thing, because I was basically handling a lot more than I could, well, handle. Once we find that person, I will set up my office and start working at home. I gave the company until the end of the year to find someone so that we’re not in limbo forever, and so I’m patiently waiting until that happens.
In the meantime, I’m slowly finding the happy again. Chris is the best – he’s so supportive and loves me so much and makes my life so much better just by being around. And I’m feeling better because there’s a light at the end of the tunnel – I can look at the chaos of our house and our lives and know that I’m doing the best I can right now, and that it won’t be like this indefinitely. It’s so comforting.
So. That’s it – the beginning of the next chapter. Let the bedazzling begin!
Just kidding.
I’ll tell you since when – since I became overwhelmed with everything.
My job title is “marketing coordinator”, but what I really do is herd cats. I have to wrangle a bunch of men, many who are arrogant and have no clue how to manage people – I have to get them to meet my deadlines so that I can meet theirs, and I have to do this while maintaining a good attitude, hiding my frustration and stress (because like skittish animals, it freaks them out if you show fear) and generally hap-hap-happying through my day.
I didn’t notice it at first, but I was losing the happy. Work was making me lose sleep and feel sick with dread in the mornings. I couldn’t not show my stress and frustration, and as predicted, the guys didn’t know how to handle that. On top of that, my boss left the company and I was unbelievably bummed about that, especially since I didn’t really like the new guy.
At home, I was also flailing. The planning and patience and organization it takes to parent the children was suffering. Every evening was a rush to pack in sports practice, violin practice, homework, dinner and oh yeah, maybe some down time to chill before everyone gets herded off to bed so they can wake up early and we can start all over.
I started to feel about my job like I felt almost 3 years ago when I had a total breakdown. I told Chris that not only could my mental health not take another episode like that, but that now it would affect him and the kids and that just wasn’t going to work.
We talked about it, and came up with a solution. I would cut down my hours to half time and then work mostly from home. I could stay home with Abby until she goes to afternoon kindergarten and be home when she and Riley got home in the afternoon. No more day care costs, which essentially take up ¼ of my paycheck. No more having to rush home to make dinner, no more piles of clean but unfolded laundry, no more trying to get homework done in the short time between getting home from work and bedtime. No more worrying about who would take a day off to stay home with a sick kid or saying no to going on field trips because no one can take off work.
I talked to the big boss at work, who was really understanding. He saw that I had been struggling and he understood that trying to do it all is hard – especially since I am still fairly new to the whole parent gig. He told me he wanted me to be happy and we’d work it out. And we have. I will work 20-30 hours a week, mainly from home. I can come into the office for a couple of hours in the afternoon while Abby is at school, and because I have other mom friends who stay home and since my own mom doesn’t work, if there is an emergency, I have backup.
Right now, we’re in the process of finding someone to take over my other hours. This is a good thing, because I was basically handling a lot more than I could, well, handle. Once we find that person, I will set up my office and start working at home. I gave the company until the end of the year to find someone so that we’re not in limbo forever, and so I’m patiently waiting until that happens.
In the meantime, I’m slowly finding the happy again. Chris is the best – he’s so supportive and loves me so much and makes my life so much better just by being around. And I’m feeling better because there’s a light at the end of the tunnel – I can look at the chaos of our house and our lives and know that I’m doing the best I can right now, and that it won’t be like this indefinitely. It’s so comforting.
So. That’s it – the beginning of the next chapter. Let the bedazzling begin!
Just kidding.
Friday, August 22, 2008
I know who my friends are
I’m blessed to have the best friends ever. There’s nothing cooler than having people in your life who you’ve known forever and better yet, who’ve known you forever. The best example of this is Beth – we were inseparable as kids – from about 1st grade until 9th grade. And now, even though she lives far away, I talk to her more than I talk to anyone else – it’s the magic of email. I am so thankful for her – for a lot of reasons, but one of which is that I can tell her the things I would be horrified if anyone else knew I even THOUGHT them, and she never judges me. Plus, she makes me laugh.
I’m thankful for ALL my girls from high school – it’s so fun watching the people who you grew up with have babies and get married. Surreal, sometimes, but fun, especially when I think back to our escapades in younger days.
I’m thankful for the wide circle of friends I have – I have the youth group kids who treat me like I’m one of them, and who I can completely let down with.
I have my soccer mom friends – three moms from Abby’s soccer team that knew each other already but who were fun and we hung out on the sidelines laughing and making fun of our children learning to play soccer. We went out to dinner the other night and drank a ton of wine and laughed our asses off – it was so fun. We put the kids back on the same team for fall season because we wanted to hang out again.
My work friends – we made a four square court in the parking lot behind our building and a bunch of us played four square all lunch hour yesterday and laughed and laughed. There's a group of us that hang out quite a bit, and we just went camping two weekends in a row and had the best time.
My fellow adult leaders on the youth group trips – it’s funny how you can meet someone for the first time one day, and a week later, it’s like you’ve known each other forever. All of the adult leaders at camp did a skit where we worked in an ice cream shop and three people came in and ordered shakes, but our blender was broken. So all of the “workers” took marshmallows and bananas and chocolate and chewed them up or melted ice cream in our mouths and spit it all into cups. Then the three “customers” drank the shakes. The kids freaked – they totally did not think they’d actually drink it. I get to see them once a year, sometimes more, but it’s as if no time has passed in between. They’re so much fun.
I have Sally and Nancy and Anita – my three extra moms who are helping me figure out logistics for our wedding – they all live next door to each other and have been friends forever and they take excellent care of me. They’re a perfect example of how friendships can weather a lot of storms and how no matter what happens, you always have your girls – they truly value each other and make time for each other and it’s really cool.
So yeah. I couldn't ask for better people in my life.
I’m thankful for ALL my girls from high school – it’s so fun watching the people who you grew up with have babies and get married. Surreal, sometimes, but fun, especially when I think back to our escapades in younger days.
I’m thankful for the wide circle of friends I have – I have the youth group kids who treat me like I’m one of them, and who I can completely let down with.
I have my soccer mom friends – three moms from Abby’s soccer team that knew each other already but who were fun and we hung out on the sidelines laughing and making fun of our children learning to play soccer. We went out to dinner the other night and drank a ton of wine and laughed our asses off – it was so fun. We put the kids back on the same team for fall season because we wanted to hang out again.
My work friends – we made a four square court in the parking lot behind our building and a bunch of us played four square all lunch hour yesterday and laughed and laughed. There's a group of us that hang out quite a bit, and we just went camping two weekends in a row and had the best time.
My fellow adult leaders on the youth group trips – it’s funny how you can meet someone for the first time one day, and a week later, it’s like you’ve known each other forever. All of the adult leaders at camp did a skit where we worked in an ice cream shop and three people came in and ordered shakes, but our blender was broken. So all of the “workers” took marshmallows and bananas and chocolate and chewed them up or melted ice cream in our mouths and spit it all into cups. Then the three “customers” drank the shakes. The kids freaked – they totally did not think they’d actually drink it. I get to see them once a year, sometimes more, but it’s as if no time has passed in between. They’re so much fun.
I have Sally and Nancy and Anita – my three extra moms who are helping me figure out logistics for our wedding – they all live next door to each other and have been friends forever and they take excellent care of me. They’re a perfect example of how friendships can weather a lot of storms and how no matter what happens, you always have your girls – they truly value each other and make time for each other and it’s really cool.
So yeah. I couldn't ask for better people in my life.
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