Tuesday, February 26, 2008

And then my liver took a standby flight home

So I spent last week Somewhere in Middle America - that's Omaha, for those of you unfamiliar with the Counting Crows - attending our annual company meeting. It's a long week, with meetings and events from about 7:30 a.m. until 9 at night. Plus, then everyone retires to the hotel bar for hours on end of drinking and talking about work some more. Luckily, wives are invited and so I spend a lot of time with them and we talk about husband and boyfriend quirks that none of the guys would want me to know about. Let me just say that if I ever want to shut someone down, all I have to do is mention some of the dirt I have on them and we're good.

After arriving on Monday and drinking much more than I usually do for three nights in a row, by the time Thursday rolled around and the final event was over, I was pretty much alcoholed out. However, Chris and I and 2 of our friends headed to the bar for one last drink before we called it a night. Ha. One drink. Good one. Before we could finish our one drink, about 12 of our co-workers showed up and another drink appeared in front of me and we're pulling up tables and chairs to accomodate everyone. When the round of shots arrived, however, is when my liver was like "bitch, please" and that's when it went ahead and took a standby flight home. Along with a lot of people's good sense. That must have been a pretty full flight.

Guess what? Peter Forsberg is coming back to the Avalanche! This is so exciting. I love him very much - because he is so smoking hot I mean has gorgeous blue eyes what? No makes me want to throw myself onto the ice oh stop IS A GREAT PLAYER. Yes. That's what I meant. As you can see from the eloquent way I express myself in all things Forsberg, you have to know that I was equally as composed when I actually met him face to face. Here's the story, which I may have told you before, but who doesn't like to re-hear an embarassing story?

I was a bridesmaid in a wedding in which my friend married a guy like 10 years older than her. The marriage lasted maybe a year or two, and I was the only one of her friends that he liked, so apparently he got me in the divorce. Because she and I aren't friends anymore, but he and I are. As it happened, he was the reporter who covered the Avs for one of the big newspapers here, and so while he couldn't get me into games for free, I often met him downtown after the games for drinks at the place where the team hung out. I got to meet all the young guys and it was pretty fun, although what I really wanted was to meet Forsberg. Unfortunately, Peter never really went out after the games. Except for one time when I happened to be there.

I was standing with my friend near the bar, and here comes Peter Forsberg walking towards us, headed for the bathroom. His hair was still damp from the shower, and he had on a dove gray dress shirt, tie and black dress pants. Gah. And Ack. He said hi to my friend and I wisely stopped myself from running after him. You know, for the sake of decorum. On the way back, he stopped and chatted for a second, and my friend is like "Peter, this is Amber". Forsberg looked at me with those ice blue eyes, held out his hand and said "It's really nice to meet you". I, being a quick thinker, realized that I had a glass of wine in my left hand and my coat in my right hand, so I'd have to get rid of something so I could shake his hand. So, because I'm suave, I dropped my coat on the floor. And because I'm a delicate flower, I unobtrusively (ha) kicked it behind me, while also shaking his hand and trying not to faint as he kept looking at me with THOSE EYES. I think I also managed "it's nice to meet you too", which I was pretty proud of, because what my brain was TELLING me to say was "will you marry me?" Aw. Yeah. Don't be jealous of my superior skillz in chatting up sports stars.

You would think that I could have come up with something witty to say to him, or even just long winded, because judging from most of my entries, long winded is my specialty. Oh well. I must have pulled it off to some extent, because he didn't make a face or run away screaming, and I didn't faint or barf or fling my wine glass across the room, so all in all, well played. Everybody wins.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

You will love me. Yes, you will.

Do you like how I give you no choice?

I'm taking Cheryl's lead today, because I don't have a lot of interesting stuff to talk about. It snowed again, after first raining, so that there was a thin sheet of ice covering the car this morning. Good times. I'm also leaving work early today, because not only do I want to miss the rush hour traffic, but I am also attending a preschool Valentine's Day party. Oh yeah. I'm actually kind of excited for the cuteness of it all. I felt all mom-like today when I dropped off the juice that I had signed up to bring for the party. I will also be feeling all mom-like later when Chris and I share a romantic dinner...with the girls, at - wait for it - Chili's. It's ok if you're jealous because I live a romance-filled life. Actually, Chris brought me roses and a really sweet card - he is a lovey romantic guy. In the most manly way possible, of course.

Anyway, back to the point of this. I'm going to say one thing I like about myself, and then YOU'RE going to tell me one thing you like about me. See how everybody wins? I love me and also, YOU get to love me as well.

It's Valentine's Day - share the love. Because I love you! And I hope you all have a wonderful day!

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Code Talkers

Ok, I know not everyone thinks that me talking about the CHILDREN all the time is INTERESTING. However. That's essentially what my life entails now. Listening to the children.

For instance, last night Abby was in the bathtub and was chattering away while I sat in a chair with my feet on the edge of the tub and daydreamed while partially listening. Does that make me a bad listener? No it does not. I have learned how to half-listen while still thinking about other things and yet answering at the required junctures. Besides, half of the time, she's not even talking to me - she's talking to herself. (I have also learned to listen carefully while appearing to be entirely uninterested. This comes in handy with Riley, as she may be trying to slide something by me while trying to sucker daddy into it. However, that is neither here nor there).

Back on subject. Bathtub, Abby talking. All of the sudden, I realize that she's talking to ME. Usually I am quicker on the uptake than that, however, she kept saying "Mommy. Mommy. MOMMY." Oh right. That would be me. She has taken to calling me that and I sometimes am right on it with the answer, and sometimes I'm off somewhere in Halflistening-ville wondering who she's talking to. Hmm. Perhaps there's some perfecting to be done in the whole not totally listening arena.

Man, can I stay on task with a story or what? Wordy McTangent, reporting for duty. Ahem. The conversation:

Abby: "Our new pres-dent saw he sadow and now we have sits more weets til winter.
Amber: "Our new president...saddle...what?"
Abby: "No. Sadow. SADOW."
Amber: *thinking* "sadow...winter...A-HA"
Amber: "Our new president saw his shadow and now we have six more weeks of winter?"
Abby: "Yes"
Amber: "You mean the GROUNDHOG saw his shadow. And we have six more weeks until SPRING. It's winter right now."
Abby: "Oh. Yes, that's wha I mean. Groun-hog."

At which point I had to explain the whole shadow/groundhog thing and we both got pretty bored with it, so I decided to not even TRY to explain President's Day.

Another conversation:
Amber: "Did you sleep ok last night?"
Chris: "Not really. I kept waking up."
Amber: "Why?"
Chris: "SOMEone kept POKING me"
Amber: "Well, you were snoring all 'snooooorrrrkkkkkkxxxxxx' and I couldn't sleep"
Chris: "When we were first dating, you used to gently touch me to get me to stop."
Amber: "True. And I guess I also didn't sit bolt upright in the middle of the night and loudly say 'For the love of god. Blow your nose!' Do you think the romance is gone?"
Chris: "Probably."