It's all about the wordplay

So Abby does a lot of writing in school, which I think is a great way for them to learn new words and also to express themselves. She loves to write, and writes some really cute journal entries, which she lets me read.

Her teacher encourages them to spell a word how they think it should be spelled – sounding it out, etc., which is probably a good thing for the teacher’s sanity, otherwise she’d spend all day spelling words for every kid in the class. What it is also good for is comic relief and puzzle solving. Abby brings home papers and I have to read the whole thing and try to translate what it is she’s writing about. I'm great at word puzzles, but sometimes I'm like "whaaaaa....??" Some recent examples:

She was writing a sort of book report/book summary about a girl who stays home sick from school. The first thing that leaps out at me from the page are the words “gast facking.” WHAT? What kind of books are my second grader reading? So I read the entire thing and figure out that the girl stayed home from school even though she wasn’t really sick. She was gast facking. Or, if you speak English, “just faking.”

She wrote a journal entry about things she likes to eat, and said that once she’s done with dinner, she’s going to have “a hagmucis ice crim sanwich.” I obviously got the ice cream sandwich part, but was stumped over “hagmucis” and also, it sounded gross. When I asked her what that meant, she said it was “humungous.”

Her journal entries are super cute – she talks a lot about Piper and how cute she is and how much she loves her. She also wrote this whole entry about how Riley is mean and never nice to her and a lot of very unflattering examples of how Riley is awful, and then finishes it with how Riley is actually not that bad, as sisters go. On the other hand, Riley is currently writing a fictional story where Abby is a total brat, so I feel that as long as it’s only literary retaliation, it’s ok. They get along great 90% of the time, and for that I am hagmucisly thankful.

Come (Shutter)fly with me

So today I’m spreading the word that Shutterfly has some seriously awesome holiday card designs this year. Before I get into that though, I’ll tell you my experience with them – in a little essay called “Why I love Shutterfly.”

When Chris and I got married (actually, it was our wedding reception in the summer of ’09 vs. our actual wedding day, which was fall of ’08. Anyway) I took our many fabulous pictures and made a photo book. I love to scrapbook, but I know myself and I knew that I would never get around to choosing the pictures I loved, printing them out in various sizes, designing the pages, etc. etc. etc. So instead, I used Shutterfly to make a really beautiful book. I got a few extra copies and gave them to my parents and Chris’ parents as a Christmas gift, and everyone loved them. This is only a sample, but maybe you get the gist.

Which brings me to the holiday cards. I am picky about my holiday cards. I want them to be classy and attractive and not always just red and green. I’m a fan of blue and snowflakes and ornaments and other pretty holiday elements. Especially this year, as I plan to dress the girls in purples and blues for the picture. So below are a couple of my favorites:

And if none of those strike your fancy, there are roughly 745 other designs in all price ranges to choose from. I’m not exaggerating – there are actually 745 other designs.

The other awesome thing that Shutterfly features is perfect for people like my parents who have everything they want and are ridiculously hard to buy presents for. However, THIS year, they have an adorable grandbaby, and I have like ONE MILLION pictures of her, so what better thing to do than make them a calendar featuring their favorite person ever? There are a ton of cute themes for the calendar background, and it’s a great idea to showcase babies or weddings or the year in pictures or travel (Alice, that means you, you world traveler!).

Anyway, the bottom line is that you should check it out. And as a bonus for my blogging friends, if you check out the Shutterfly holiday cards, love what you see, and write a post about it, you can get 50 FREE cards! Yay! So get on that bandwagon and go to this link to learn how to get your cards.

You now have no excuse not to send out cards this year.

Confessions of a blog neglecter

So ever since I met Chris and it became clear that we were in this for the long haul, I’ve had sort of a hard time blogging. Mostly because all of the sudden my life changed from single Amber to stepmom Amber, and I had all of this ADJUSTING to do. Like having two small children in my life. Like maintaining and enjoying my relationship with Chris. Like moving out of the area where my family and friends lived into a town where I knew NO ONE (which isn’t as horrible as it sounds, because the town is only like 30 minutes away. But still). There were other things too, but those were kind of the major ones.


So now it’s been 4 years since we started dating, and I realized that I should be writing some of this stuff down. I’ve been married for two years, and I have a 6 month old baby in addition to my two sweetie pie stepdaughters. I want to write this down for me, so that I remember what went on, but I also want to write it down for my kids, so that they know that I wasn’t just the rule-setting, house-organizing, fun-ruining mom type. I have another identity in there, I just have to make sure I don’t lose it.


Two years ago I made the decision to be a stay-at-home mom. I had the opportunity to cut my hours at my job and do it from home. It went ok for a while, but due to the fact that my boss was a complete asshole and then he also hired a psychopath to pick up my slack (and really, despite my tendency to exaggerate, these two things are ACTUALLY TRUE), I looked for and found another job. I still work from home, but I work for an organization that is a dream as far as employers go. I’m guaranteed a minimum amount of hours and can work more if I have the desire and time. No real deadlines, no micromanagement – awesome. So I’m blessed in the job department. It was really great when I was pregnant, because since I was sick all of the time, I never had to deal with an office or sick days, and I had the freedom to work whenever I got the chance. It’s also great with a new baby, because I do what I can when I can and I don’t have to worry about whether I should be working instead of playing with my baby.


I love my life. I love my husband, who is so helpful and such a good dad and a hard worker and just all-around terrific. I love my two big girls, who are totally smitten with their baby sister and help me a lot by playing with her while I fix dinner or take a shower. I love my parents, who, speaking of smitten, think my baby is the best thing to ever happen. EVER. My mom comes over twice during the week to play, and she and my dad both come over on the weekends (my dad and Chris are finishing our basement), so I get a break and can run errands or work or whatever.

Again though, it’s an adjustment, because I am a people person and I have a hard time having no one to talk to all day except a baby. Granted, she listens really well, but she’s still lacking on the response front. Apparently that gets better once they’re older. Anyway, I feel a little lonely and isolated sometimes. However, I wouldn’t change a thing, because I am thankful every day that I can stay home with my baby and be home when the kids get back from school, and that I am not stressed out having to work full time and fit in dinners and family time and baby time.


So. I know I’ve probably said this before, but I’m working on writing more on here as an outlet and because it’s always been fun. I suppose I shouldn’t worry about the identity part – that will sort itself out eventually. See, I already feel so much better!

Ode to Pregnancy

I'm back! Twice in one week - don't get used to it. Anyhow, to answer your questions Alice, YES, I am indeed pregnant, and NO, you didn't really miss anything because I didn't blog at all in 2009.

So, since we're on the subject and all, let's talk about how pregnancy isn't at all what I expected. Actually, I'm not sure what I thought it would be like, but no one ever told me how one day I would be walking around all normal, and the next day I would lose total control of my body for the next 10 months. Isn't pregnancy supposed to be rainbows and magic and puppies and whatever?

Because I'm awesome, the way I found out I was pregnant was because I thought I had a really terrible hangover. I woke up one morning after a "girls night out" and I felt AWFUL. Which was a little surprising, since I hadn't really drank THAT much the night before, but I felt nauseous and had heartburn and just blech. I didn't think much about it, but when the nausea continued and all I wanted to eat were mashed potatoes and gravy, well, I started to get suspicious. Two weeks later, I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. That's when the fun started.

So. THE SYMPTOMS.
Oh, I had morning sickness alright. And afternoon sickness and evening sickness as well. I haven't eaten fish since I got pregnant because the smell is too terrible. For about the first 3 months, Chris either had to cook with me supervising from a distance, or he had to bring something home. Rolling waves of nausea all the time and the fact that I would pretty much throw up whatever I ate made eating a challenge. Allegedly this would stop after the first 12 weeks. HA. It lasted for 5 months - and there are still days when I eat something and then get violently ill later. TMI? Probably. It was actually sort of amusing sometimes (you know, looking back) because many mornings I would lay in bed and just gag. For no reason. I couldn't even talk about food without gagging and PLEASE cats, do not breathe on me with your cat food breath. WHERE ARE THE RAINBOWS?

Also, everyone in the world wears way too much perfume when you're pregnant. Because he's a cowboy, Kid Rock can smell a pig from a mile away, however, since I'm pregnant, I can smell EVERYTHING from a mile away. At least I'm to the point now where I won't start gagging immediately. Usually.

Okay, so we made it past the first trimester, which was good, because I could start to ease up on my constant worrying about miscarrying. It seemed like a month was a really long time to go between doctor's appointments because I had to wait that long to hear the heartbeat and it always made me feel better. Because the worrying was constant. I can already tell I'm going to be THAT parent.

Second trimester rolled around and I started wearing maternity clothes. I pretty much love that. Who doesn't love stretchy waist pants? Although I will say that it has been hard to find reasonably priced maternity tops that aren't FUGLY. Seriously, maternity designers. It's bad enough that your stomach and boobs and various other body parts are changing shape and getting larger by the second - please don't make me wear ugly-ass prints and clingy fabric and unflattering necklines. Luckily Old Navy has good clothes, as does the maternity outlet store by my house. Because I'm at the point now where my long sleeve t shirts barely fit, much less cover my stomach. And I do have to leave the house now and then. I was still pretty barfy until a couple of weeks ago, but it's getting better. At least there's now a less than 50% chance I'll throw up what I ate most of the time.

So. Exit the barfies, enter the heartburn. OH. MY. GOD. THE. PAIN. (Can you tell how great I'm going to be in childbirth if I think heartburn is going to kill me? This is going to be good.) I have never had problems with heartburn, so this is new to me. And because of the nausea, I wasn't about to eat the disgusting chalky Tums - bad going down, probably worse on the return trip. So I drank a lot of milk. Which occasionally helped, but seriously - this was some really wicked heartburn. Finally like 2 weeks ago, my dr. told me I could take Zantac, which has made my life so much better. I try not to take it every day, but it helps a ton. Excuse me, pregnancy? HEARTBURN IS NOT PUPPIES. WHERE ARE THE PUPPIES?

I'm getting to the point now where I can almost not see my feet. And that I have to be careful when cooking not to burn my belly on the stove. My booth-sitting days at restaurants are almost over, and navigating through smallish spaces without knocking something over with my stomach gets trickier all the time. It also makes it difficult to get up from laying down. Being in bed and having to change positions or get up in the night for the millionth time to pee is really difficult. My hips hurt and my back hurts and I need pillows propping me up and supporting me in various places in order to get sort of comfortable. I usually sleep on my stomach, but clearly that's out, so I've had to adjust to sleeping on my side. I actually rarely sleep well, because with all of the flopping around like a fish I do to get OUT of bed, coupled with the squirreling around I have to do to get comfortable when I get back IN bed, well, it wakes a person up. I'M STILL WAITING FOR THE RAINBOWS.

So. Even though all of this sounds horribly negative and it seems like I'm not thrilled to be pregnant, that's not true at all. I am definitely thrilled. I am really excited to meet this little tiny person when she comes out in April. Maybe the puppies and the rainbows aren't showing up, but there is definitely magic. I am amazed at what the human body is capable of - making another human inside. It's crazy. And that that little bundle is capable of controlling how you feel - probably for the rest of your life. We saw on an ultrasound about 2 months ago that we're having a little girl, and everyone is so excited. The girls are so cute and looking forward to a sister. They always pat my stomach and say goodnight to the baby or goodbye when they leave. Abby's head is right about stomach level, so sometimes she gives my stomach a kiss. It's really sweet. And though Chris really wanted a boy, he's happy to have another little girl that will love him SO much, just like his little girls do right now. I'm happy to have a girl, because girls and their moms have special relationships, and it will be fun to have a friend like my mom has me for a friend. Oh, and don't get me started on how funny my mom is about her first grandchild. My parents are really excited.

So yeah. The physical parts of pregnancy aren't always the best, BUT. Once you feel that little person swimming around and kicking in there, it makes all the lame stuff way less lame, and you know for sure that it's TOTALLY going to be worth it in the end.

Because I feel like I should write this stuff down...

You know, for posterity.

Here are 3 reasons I don't sleep well at night:

1. Chris is the weirdest breather at night. His breathing patterns change constantly - and sometimes scare the crap out of me. Like last night, he was breathing through his nose with this high pitched whistle that made me dream that a baby was crying. He later told me that I punched him and mumbled something he didn't understand. In fact, the way I know he's awake in the night is when he breathes quietly - like a normal person.

2. I have a spoiled cat. Baby Kitty had to go to the vet yesterday for a teeth cleaning, which involved her being put under. Therefore, she couldn't eat anything past midnight the night before. Booger decided at 3:30 a.m. that he was DEFINITELY starving to death. There was no doubt in his mind, and by golly, since he was suffering, WE would also suffer. I'm not kidding when I say he meowed and whined for 3 straight hours. I shut him out of the bedroom, which muffled it, but man. If he wasn't the cutest cat in the world most of the time, I would have done something drastic.

3. Pregnancy prepares you for never sleeping well again. Not only do I have to pee about 47 times a night, even getting to the bathroom is a chore. I have to disentangle myself from the covers (which I'm half in and half out of because I'm usually always HOT), extract myself from the body pillow, hoist my ass out of bed (no small feat, I tell you), and THEN I can walk to the bathroom. Once I get back into bed, it takes quite some time for me to get comfortable again and by this time, either I'm totally awake or I have to pee again. Or both.

I might have more later, but I have to pee. And maybe take a nap to make up for all the time I spend at night not sleeping.