The fashion police go shopping

I’m not known for my stunning sense of fashion. Unless fashion is somehow defined by the number of black pants, jeans and pajama bottoms a person owns. If that’s the case, then I’m a freakin’ fashion GENIUS. Otherwise, not so much. However, I AM an expert on what OTHER people are wearing -- and why they shouldn't be wearing it. Because I'm perfect like that, therefore I have room to talk. What? Stop laughing.

I wear a lot of black. I just like it. I also go to the other extreme and wear a lot of pink. I think I’m making up for my years of refusing to wear pink, despite my mother’s pleas for me to “wear something feminine”. She also likes me to wear makeup and do my hair, but we can’t always get what we want, right mom? Anyway. I think you could call me a conservative dresser – my favorite store is Ann Taylor. So I’ve branched out a little from Old Navy t-shirts and whatnot, but for the most part? I’m super boring.

This has to change for the trip to Vegas. I can’t walk into Ghost Bar in a cute little cardigan and matching shell. Because I'm not a soccer mom and it isn't casual Friday in corporate America. I’m not sure that Pure would appreciate my jeans and black t-shirt. Plus, it’ll probably be too hot to wear a cardigan and definitely too hot for jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt. Sometimes I amaze myself with my deductive reasoning skills...

SO. In order not to step TOO far out of my comfort zone all at once (baby steps and all that), today I went to White House/Black Market. Never been there before. It’s one door down from Ann Taylor, which is probably why. Once I leave AT, I don’t have any money, so what’s the use of going to the next store? However, today I was with Karen, and she wouldn’t let me go into Ann Taylor, as she said she didn’t think our cute Vegas tops were going to be in there. I wanted to look, you know, just to be safe, but she said no. Fine.

White House/Black Market had a very helpful salesgirl who kept bringing me stuff to try on. Most of it was way too hip for me to pull off. I just can’t get on board with gaucho pants. I don’t wear belts. I don’t like to wear skirts that go below my knees. Things like that. I’ll step out of the box, but I’m skittish – don’t scare me away with your fancy hoopy chain belt thingy. No sudden moves, ok?

Anyway, $200 later, I had some cute things to go with the plethora of cropped black pants that I own. Four black tops and one white one – I told you, we’d work up to other colors eventually. Plus they only had black and white stuff in the store. It's not just a clever name. AND, we’re only in Vegas for three nights. But a girl’s gotta be prepared, right? That’s why I also bought three new pairs of shoes. There’s no such thing as being TOO prepared in the footwear department.

Next stop? Accessories. Here’s where we try to step out of the silver-only box into something a bit more colorful and fashiony. Or something. God help me. And whoever goes shopping with me.