Monday, September 04, 2006

Melon calling and Milahd

I was sitting in my parents’ yard today and as I looked around, I realized that today is the unofficial official last day of summer. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt the end of summer so acutely – the past five years have been filled with work, so a summer day was just like a winter day, only hotter. I went to the office and I came home. Sure, I went on trips with the kids and did things outside, but the time flew by and it was mostly a series of “just another days.”

Obviously this summer was different. I went places with the kids. I hung out with my friends. I went to the pool at my complex for the first time ever, and I’ve lived here for three summers. I’ve loved every minute of my freedom from my job – I can’t tell you enough how thankful I am that that place is no longer and that because of that, I was able to take the time off that I needed to. I got to have summer and I LOVED it!

Fall is one of my favorite seasons. I love the change in the air – the nights are much chillier and even though we ate dinner outside at Sally and Joe’s last night, we had a fire going in the chiminea and sweatshirts on. It was beautiful out, and when I went to bed, I took my hair out of a ponytail, and it smelled like fire smoke. I love that smell. I love the smell of the crisp air, and I love the smell of fires burning in fireplaces. I love the colors of fall and I love the things that fall means. High school football games, carving pumpkins, a fire in my fireplace. I love that even though fall is an end for so many things, it’s always been a beginning for me.

I’ve started my last few jobs in the fall. Five years ago in October, I began my job at my now-defunct company. The fall before that I started working at REI. And now, tomorrow I start yet another new job. It’s exciting. It’s the promise that things will change and even though I fear change, I also love it. New people, a new place, new stuff to learn and do.

I’ve also began a lot of my relationships in the fall. My college boyfriend and I began dating in the fall and a year later, we got engaged in the fall. I started seeing my last serious boyfriend, the one I was with for four and a half years, in the fall. And two years ago, I started seeing Not Boyfriend in the fall.

So I guess it’s not weird that when fall comes around, I feel melancholy. Or “melon calling” as Kendra used to say. I was thinking about how to write about all of this, and I remembered that last year at this time, I was feeling the same way. I went back and read this entry, and the first paragraph kind of sums up how I feel right now. In the arena of melon-calling, that is. The entry ends with me keeping my fingers crossed for things to work out with Not Boyfriend, and a year later, they totally have. He’s living in another state, but we’ve stayed close friends. We talk about once a week, sometimes more, sometimes less. When he comes back to Denver, he makes time to see me. I still love him, it’s just a different love now, and I no longer hold on to the hope that we’ll be together. I still miss him, but how could you not miss a friend who’s far away?

As far as the other side of the coin, well, I got that covered as well. The job is new. The routine is new. The people will be new. The stuff I learn will be new. It’s the beginning of something that might last long, but that might not. It’s what I mean by “milahd” – that’s the name of my ex-boyfriend’s little boy. In Farsi, it means “new beginning”.

So. Here’s what we’re keeping our fingers crossed about this year. That my fall will have more milahds than I could possibly know what to do with. Because my summer has surpassed all expectations, so why should fall be any different?

13 comments:

Mr. Fabulous said...

Exactly! You are on a roll now, you've got momentum!

Good luck on your first day today!

Hope said...

Oh, I love fall too. I don't think I could ever live somewhere that didn't have the changing seasons. I saw kids out waiting for the bus this morning on my way to work and it made me nostalgic. So happy for you and your new job and your new beginnings! Good luck!

Edge said...

Did you get a good night's sleep and bring 2 #2 pencils? It will work out but what the heck is 'Milahd'? When you have a child please don't name it Milahd, stick with Mark or Josh or something.

~Jef

Buffy said...

I love the autumn. Autumn always feels like a new beginning to me. From as far back as starting new schools to starting new countries.

Then there's the fabulous clothes.... :)

The Husband said...

here's to the Year of Amber!

Kendra said...

Can't wait to hear all about Day 1 of the new job! Doing it over our "End of Summer Blizzard" would be a great way to debrief. :)

Marissa said...

Great post, Amber. I feel the same way about Fall. I always feel that Labor Day is really the unofficial New Year because that's when everything truly starts over. New beginnings. Here's to another great year! xo

Jill said...

I feel that way about fall as well. May you have more new beginnings than you know what to do with!

Miladysa said...

What a wonderful post Amber!

Amanda said...

first of all, good luck in the new job. i have been totally feeling that way about the new season to the point where i was pining for labor day to make it all end...clean slate. seriously, good luck...and don't knock the melon-calling...reflection is a good thing.

xo

Spaceman Spiff said...

The new seeds for Spring are deposited in the fall. Next years new growth is all because of the seeds you sew on this falls breezes. So spead some seed around and have fun. . . . . I just realized I implied you should sleep around. Not what I was suggesting, but if that is what crumbles your cookie then go for it. Have fun and enjoy all the new things.

Cheryl said...

I hope your new job is going well and that you aren't so melon calling.

dorkus andronicus said...

my list of fall endearments has grown from leaves and football to leaves, football and lemon bars. xoxo.