You might be my type

Ok, so I’ve half-jokingly discussed what my type is, but let’s half-seriously talk about it now.

When I say that I like the emotionally unavailable or attract the newly-divorceds, it’s because I like to help people, to make them feel better. It’s true, I am a good listener. I’m everyone’s shoulder to cry on, and I like that. I like to take care of the people I care about – if you are sad, I’m your girl. I’m also a really great secret keeper. I used to suck, because I had this compulsion to tell everyone everything I knew. It was like Tourette’s, only with more secrets and less swearing. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve started being a lot better about not airing my (and more importantly, other people’s) dirty laundry. Anyway. So yes. I am here to take good care of you. Example: when we were not dating, I was everything Not Boyfriend needed. He was everything I wanted. Clearly a large obstacle there, but as it turns out, we made it through the ups and downs and now? I still talk to him all the time. I’m the one he calls with his funny stories and when he’s bummed out or missing home, because he knows I’m the one who totally gets him. Mission accomplished. Maybe not the mission I orginally thought I was embarking on, but the situation has yielded more good than bad. Always a plus, don't you think?

But that’s not what we’re talking about here. We’re talking about my type. I also tend (sometimes unconsciously) to choose boys who I know are either geographically or emotionally unavailable, because that’s safety for me. That way, I retain my independence and don’t have to look commitment in the eye. Because even though I WANT to be with someone so badly, having it actually happen is scary as hell for me. I’d like to think I’m getting better at it, because at least recently, I’ve learned to spell “commitment” correctly. I know that sounds stupid, but for the girl who can spell anything? I could not spell that word for the life of me. Beth calls me “the Freudian speller.” Ha.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t specifically choose who I like by whether or not they live close to me, or whether there’s a good possibility that nothing will come of the relationship because I’m just their rebound girl. But in the interest of time, here’s the basics of what I actually look for in a guy:

Funny, which I don't really need to explain
Smart -- and this doesn't necessarily mean someone highly educated, just someone who is intelligent
A good conversationalist – there has to always be something to talk about without it being boring or worse, a struggle
Willing to answer my myriad of questions about them
Also interested in knowing about me, not just superficially
Affectionate, because I am
Kind – not just a nice guy, but a truly kind person

Is big on family -- his own and the one we might possibly have together
Can hang with the people from each completely different aspects of my life
Likes kids and animals, because let’s face it, that’s a giant part of my life

As far as looks go, I like a hot guy just as much as the next girl, but if you have the above qualities, there’s a good chance I’m going to be attracted to you. If you also have dark curly hair, nice teeth and pretty eyes, well, please marry me. Um, but you're going to have to move to Colorado first, ok?