Monday, October 30, 2006

Dispatch from Babyville

No, I’m not talking about actual babies, I’m talking about the fact that I’m a big baby.

I have a confession to make – I can’t watch scary movies. I mean, I can, but only if I want to have nightmares and not sleep at all. I love “The Sixth Sense”, but since I live alone, I can no longer watch it. I tried, and I had to turn it off. I can watch CSI with no problems – doesn’t bother me at all. But I can’t really watch CSI: Miami. When it first came on, I was all excited, because who doesn’t love an extra night of CSI every week. But then I started having horrible nightmares about burned up bodies and horrible death every Monday night, so I stopped watching. I probably would have anyway, because I can’t stand Horatio Caine and the incessant taking off and putting back on of the sunglasses. And the fact that every damn case is personal for him. And that -- wait. What was I talking about?

Oh yes. The issue I have with an overactive imagination added to living alone equaling my fear of the scary movies. Let’s try to keep me on track here, shall we?

P.I.C decided the other night that he wanted to watch scary movies in honor of Halloween. I agreed, because I’m an idiot. I mean, I’m a good friend. And it sounded fun – we were going to watch some bad, old scary movies. Plus, I figured if I drank enough, I wouldn’t remember the scary parts. So see, I had some theories I was hoping would work. The problem was, I was housesitting in a really big house, which I had to go home to – ALONE – and so I couldn’t drink enough to make me unable to drive home. Maybe my theory was flawed.

We started off with “Evil Dead”, which initially was great. The scariest parts were the “hero’s” monobrow, the horrible dialogue, and pretty much the plot in general. Then it was kind of funny when one of the stupid chicks got assaulted by the forest. But then she turned into a zombie demon thing, and that still wasn’t bad, because the makeup was also really lame. But then this other girl turned into a zombie demon thing and the makeup was still really bad but also scary and clearly when she was getting chopped up, it was a dummy, but the makeup was still freaking me out. Finally, I couldn’t stare at the bubbles in my champagne glass anymore in avoidance of looking at the t.v., and so I whimpered to P.I.C. about how I was scared and could we watch something else? So we watched “The Devil’s Rejects” instead. It was not scary. There was a lot of shooting and blood and swearing, which I’m totally ok with. That, coupled with the totally predictable dialogue made it ok for me to watch. Until I fell asleep. See, clearly I wasn’t that traumatized by it. And I didn’t have any nightmares.

The moral of the story is, I will perhaps watch a scary movie again. As long as I have someone to watch it with, who will then sleep over. For at least a week. Just kidding. Ok, no. Not kidding. I’m a baby – have we not established that yet?

13 comments:

Edge said...

My wife, whom you found most adorable, is the same way. We were in bed last night and Stir of Echoes was on - a must see if you haven't - and I turned it off. She would have gotten nightmares. She switched on the Cowboy game and I told her it would give me nightmares.

~Jef

Mr. Fabulous said...

Mrs. Fab is like that too. I was watching some documentary on Discovery about a supposed haunted house in our state and I had to turn it off. It was too scary for her.

I think it's cute. LOL

Cheryl said...

Scary movies reak me out too...but when they are bad they distract me and I totally aware of how unrue they are and I don't get scared any more. Case in point was the movie I watched this weekend: Silent Hill. Bad movie, bad writing, and I ended up laughing at it...

Kendra said...

You forgot to mention the time you jumped into my lap while watching The Sixth Sense...or was it The Blair Witch Project? Either way, what the hell were we doing? We're both total wimps when it comes to scary movies. Let's not do that again, mmmkay?

3105 said...

Your right the Evil Dead is questionable. But "The Army of Darkness" is priceless..

Don't give up on scary movies. They make for great "Night"mares...

Linda said...

BOO!

Happy Hallo-WEENIE!!

Jill said...

I am a baby, too!

And also, I'm right there with you regarding CSI: Miami. You forgot to add the part about how all the shots of him and his sunglasses involve diagonal framing for that "edgy effect" and the camera looking up at him to make him look "tall".

Hope said...

I love scary movies, but there's a fine line between scary and just plain disgusting. I love the psychological thriller-type movies (i.e. all M.Night Shamalan [no idea if I spelled that right] movies, What Lies Beneath, White Noise, etc.), but I will not set foot near this new breed of super-gory movies (Saw I, II, & III, Hostel, etc.). I do not understand how people can sit through those movies and not walk away emotionally disturbed. Is it really entertainment when I have to hold myself back from vomiting while just watching the preview???

Kellie said...

I have not seen ANY of the Saw movies... I think I'll be terrified.

Janet said...

I don't do blood. Gore on the screen traumatizes me (which, is interesting, as I can handle it well enough in the real world.) But the phsycological thrillers? I'm in! Who's up for The Ring and a case of Pinot Noir?

Happy Halloween Amber.

Marissa said...

i jumped into MY best friend's lap while watching the sixth sense...and the blair witch project. we have much in common! i cannot even watch scream without MONTHS of nightmares...its bad.

Sass said...

oh babe - i am pretty sure we are living similar lives. Big hug and best of luck on the job.

Janet said...

It all depends on what you consider scary. Psychological thrillers like The Sixth Sense are far scarier to me than say, Friday the 13th part anything. I guess it's because one is rooted in reality, while the other isn't. Still it's fun to be spooked every once and awhile, just preferably not alone!:)