This is me telling you what to do.

Book recommendations, because you asked. Other recommendations, because you didn't.

Shadow Laws by Jim Michael Hansen - he's a Denver lawyer, and I'm that nerd who likes books that take place in my town because I know what the places look like and whatever. Anyway, it's a suspense/thriller told from the point of view of 3 characters, which makes for a good read.

The Watchman by Robert Crais - Part of a series about a private detective, this one focuses on the mercenary (with a heart of gold, of course) who co-owns the business and is protecting someone AT ALL COSTS from getting whacked. Fast, brainless fiction.

Little Earthquakes by Jennifer Weiner - I love her books, and this was no different. Told from the point of view of four characters, it's a total chick book about pregnancy and babies and stuff like that.

Velocity by Dean Koontz - I actually read this a while ago, but wanted to add it anyway. I could not put this book down. Totally suspenseful and really fast moving. So good.

Dark Harbor by Stuart Woods - Suspense/mystery, part of the Stone Barrington series. Gratuitous sex and CIA intrigue and murder - I read it in one afternoon. I enjoy Stuart Woods so much though. Chiefs is one of my most favorite books EVER, and I DEFINITELY recommend that as well.

Dry Ice by Stephen White - Another one set in Colorado. Part of a suspense/thriller series centering on a psychologist. I love this whole series, and would also recommend Kill Me, which is the one right before this I think.

I've also recently read T is for Trespass by Sue Grafton - suspenseful, thought-inducing and not as fluffy as the previous ones in the series. And Book of the Dead by Patricia Cornwell. I really like the Kay Scarpetta series, because of the interesting forensic stuff. However, the characters are really starting to bum me out, what with the fact that apparently no one is ever entitled to any happiness or even a frickin' good mood every once in a while.

Don't watch the following movies: The Heartbreak Kid with Ben Stiller, because as great as I think he is, that is a totally stupid movie not worth the time we spent watching it. 30 Days of Night with Josh Hartnett, because although I like a scary movie here and there and also am not averse to vampires, I couldn't wait for this to be over. The premise was good - it takes place in a tiny town in Alaska during the month when there isn't sun ever. Perfect for vampires, right? Totally. And so this could have been good, but what it involved was a lot of blood and gore and vampires who apparently don't speak any sort of human language, except they scream a lot. There was no suspense, and also it followed not one thing I know about vampires from watching The Lost Boys, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (the t.v. show) and Angel. Plus, there were no remotely hot vampires like Spike or Angel or even a great looking mullet-headed Kiefer Sutherland. AND to top it off, the end totally sucked. Booo.

You SHOULD watch these movies: 3:10 to Yuma. SO GOOD. First of all, in case you didn't know, I love Christian Bale more than, well, something I really love (I can't wait to see him in Batman this summer. Why? Because he is SMOKIN' HOT and can also act). Anyway he was awesome in this. I also enjoy Russell Crowe's acting (and he's pretty hot when he wants to be) and he was stellar in this. He plays a really bad guy who you can be sympathetic to without feeling bad about it. Also this kid Ben Foster plays a perfectly despicable psycho. Love. Hot Fuzz is also great. A lot of people haven't seen this because it stars two English guys and you know how sometimes Americans don't get British comedy? It is funny and actiony and I love these guys. They also did Shawn of the Dead (zombies!) and while I thought that was also funny, I like Hot Fuzz more.

Awesome mascara - Bourjois Volume Clubbing in Ultra Black. I like to look like I'm wearing mascara, because I go with the natural look on the rest of my face, so this is great because it makes my lashes look thicker and not just tinted black. I was a little wary because the girl who recommended it to me was wearing eye shadow in hot pink and bright blue (and not in a good way), and also because it has the word "clubbing" in it, which is a little preciously trendy and reminds me how totally old I am, but as it turns out, she was right and also it's a sub-company of Chanel, not some weird fly-by-night operation. Nobody likes shady fly-by-night mascara, right?

Ok. I think that does it. Anything else you want me to tell you to read or watch or buy or do? You just let me know.