From The Onion:
A group of volunteers calling themselves the Minutemen began standing sentry on the U.S. side of the Arizona-Mexico border last week to watch for illegal immigrants and smugglers. How are they safeguarding the country?
-- Putting live jumper cables in the Rio Grande every 20 minutes
-- Getting can coolers printed up
-- Picking good code names, like Angry Jackal, Freedom Fighting Hardcore 2005, and MastaPatrolla
-- Hank patrols Monday; Don on Tuesday; Don, Chuck, and Mitch on Wednesday; Hank, Don, and Mitch on Thursday; Chuck, Don, and Rhonda on Friday; and everybody on Saturday -- except Hank, who still hates Chuck for shooting his dog
-- Providing unappealing example of what Americans are like, in order to discourage people from wanting to come here
There were more, but I picked the top five. The reason why I bring this up is twofold. One, because I think these guys are stupid and The Onion is funny. The second reason is because I heard from Karen the other day that Sean Donahue, Asshat, has recently decided that he is going to go down to Arizona and become one of these aforementioned Minutemen. It's apropos, really, because he's a radical Republican freakshow AND completely devoid of common sense AND he has nothing better to do (what with the hardly working and the living with his parents at age 28), AND because for some people "minuteman" isn't just a catchy name, but instead a metaphor for overcompensating in an area where they may fall, ahem, short.
As you can see, I'm REAL sorry THAT relationship didn't work out.