Even the Elderly Enjoy the Occasional Concert

So last night I went and saw Jason Mraz in concert. Before I go any further, I have to tell you that the person behind this whole event was Mandy. She got into him and knew that I would love him, so she burned his newest cd “Mr. A-Z” for me and got tickets to the concert. Well, she was right – I loved him. And after last night’s show? I love him even more. So big shout out to Mandy – you totally know musical genius when you hear it – AND you know me so well.

Anyway, so Mandy, her sister Cass, our friend Steph and I headed out to the Fillmore. We’re all about the same age – Cass is 22, so a little younger. But when we got to the theater, clearly the only thing we were was old. Teenage girls EVERYWHERE. And there were a few guys there, but they were mostly the whipped boyfriends, standing around and trying to look as if they totally chose to be there and fooling no one.

So the opening act was James Blunt, a charming lad with a fantastic English accent and a really tortured soul. I was actually going to say something here about how he’s so young and how there’s no possible way that he could be so tortured when he’s all of like 22, but then I looked up his bio and turns out? He is. He was in the British Army in Kosovo in 1999 at the age of 19 and wrote some songs about that. He describes his album as “fatalistic” and boy, he isn’t kidding. At first I was like “I think I’ll buy this cd and listen to it.” By the end of his set I was like “I think I’ll buy his cd, listen to it, break it in half and slit my wrists with it.” For real. His voice is haunting and his songs are super depressing. But he’s talented, no question about that.

ANYWAY. Jason Mraz. I love him because he is a total word nerd. He’s quick and funny and writes great songs. He can talk so fast and he plays the guitar and did I mention that he’s a word nerd? How do you not love a guy wearing a pink t-shirt that says “GEEK” across it? And yes, he’s hot, but it’s all the rest of the stuff that makes him nigh unto irresistible. The thing, though, that sealed my adoration for him was his VOICE. He does this one song “Mr. Curiosity” where in the middle is this operatic kind of interlude. I always assumed someone else did it – until he broke it out last night and almost made me pass out. His voice is unf*ckingbelievable. The rest of the concert was great – he isn’t one of those artists who does the chit chat in between songs that makes you want them to please shut up and never talk again. His in-between-song talking was hilarious. I can’t really describe it, so I won’t.

What I will describe is how utterly ancient I felt. There were so many young kids there and when we first got there, I was SURE they were looking at us like “How sweet. The old ladies finally got a night out.” This was cemented by when we’re standing there during the James Blunt set and we were talking about getting a drink, and then Steph pointed out that there probably wasn’t alcohol because it was an all-ages show. WHAT? Cass was like “I thought maybe they just ran out of the bracelets and also forgot to card me.” Yeah, not so much. No alcohol.

The Fillmore has no seats on the main floor, so you have to stand. We stood there for nearly 3 hours and towards the end I wanted to die.
“Not to be totally old, but my feet are KILLING me.”
“My back hurts.”
“Man, mine does too, now that you mention it.”
Not only were we standing there for hours, but people kept pushing their way in front of us like they belonged there. Look, if you want to be closer to the front, I recommend that you get there earlier. Don’t make me kick your ass. At one point, Steph turned around to say something to us and when she turned back around, some little chippy had elbowed her way into Steph’s spot. Steph looks at us and says “Apparently if you turn around, you lose your spot. That’s the last time I’m talking to you f*ckers tonight.” The girl got the point and moved out of the way. Another girl tried to edge in front of Cass, and so Cass, Mandy and I all looked at her with the laser eye of death and she kind of cowered and was like “sorry” and moved. That’s what I thought, bitches.

After about 2 hours, we started to want some water. But we were totally trapped. We’re thirsty and smushed in with 85 bajillion people and there’s no way we can get to where there might be water – not that we’d know where that was anyway. By the end of the concert, we swore we could feel our skin drying up and had passed the realm of "thirsty" like an hour before. I think we were at the "Brink of Imagined Death from Dehydration" stage about then, but we possibly could have been hallucinating from lack of water -- maybe our brains had dried up. Anyway. We wanted to go to the 7-11 across the street from the theater but with the crowds of people walking around, we couldn’t get there. We drove around FOREVER (or like 20 minutes -- I really don't know because my eyes were totally dried up rendering me blind so I couldn't see the clock) because apparently Denver shuts down at 10 on weeknights – something to know in case you’re ever here and want to get something at a convenience store after 10. You can’t. We finally found a gas station and I have never been so happy to drink water ever in my life. Add another point for “old” on the “Old vs. Young” scorecard.

Luckily, there’s a curfew in Denver for teenagers – it’s 11 – and so the concert was out at 10:30 or so. I say luckily because damn – we all have to work tomorrow and we need to get to bed. That’s now at least three points for old, in case you’re keeping track.

But the concert? Totally fun. We laughed SO MUCH and had a blast and Jason Mraz was awesome. And once we found water, well, the night was complete. And all that before 11.