Nearly a week after meeting my parents, still be analyzing your behavior because you’re worried that they didn’t like you, despite my assurances to the contrary. Oh, and try to frame every question on the subject as if you’re “just curious”, even though you’ve totally already given yourself away.
“So, uh, did I offend your parents the other night?”
“Not at all -- they thought you were great.”
“Oh good. Because I was thinking about it, and I was worried – uh, because, um, well, I uh – usually parents like me.”
“They liked you – I promise.”
“Ok. Good.”
And four days later, bring it up again. Because seriously, it’s not like you care, and it's certainly not that you've been thinking about it, you’re just curious. Really.
Oh and also? Pretend that it doesn’t please you to no end that I’m “making” you celebrate your 30th birthday on Sunday. Because, no – I can’t see through that at all.
*"How to Charm Me" tm Dooce
18 comments:
lol No offense guys, but here goes:
hahahahahaha boys are dumb. That includes guys and men as well. "I don't like you... *cough!* but I *cough!* really do *cough!*..." "I don't care... BUT I DO!!!"
Whatever. Whatever, whatever, whatever. Don't ACTUALLY come out and say you care or anything, because you might catch that bug that's going around... what's that called... COMITTMENT?
Okay, I'm done now. What can I say? Musings of a bitter and cynical woman...
Awwwww, he sounds soooo sweet! He is invited to my party, too. That is, if you have figured out a way to magically transport yourself yet. Because I didn't win Powerball and can't fly everyone out like I wanted to. But again - SWEET!
CUTE!
And yeah, we totally know you don't care, guy. You're just "wondering." It just "popped into your head..."
riiiiiight.
So Amber, I'm "just curious" but do you think the other bloggers like me? You know I was just wondering. Uh, yeah I will ask you again in a few days just to be sure.
Oh, and you are just so mean making people celebrate their birthdays.
oh wait... this is "Not Boyfriend" guy again... I get sooo confused...
Not Boyfriend
History Boy
dont you know any Tom's or Bills?
oh... and this is for cheryl
WE effin ADORE YOU!!!
Whats not to love about our Cheryl :)
There you go speaking a language only girls understand. Romeo and I have no idea what the hell your talking about.
Nice!
I should start that too. I always thought it was cute when Dooce did it.
You're too cute!
Amber,
Yes, I did figure out the comments section. Took a little extra reading on my part, but I figured it out ::smiles::
Thanks for your nice words too. I know I'm far from perfect, but I guess sometimes I just like to delve into my own self pity. ::smiles:: Doesn't do any good I know.
Hope it's okay if I link you to my blog. Let me know if you don't want me to and I won't.
-gaylicious-
Looking up! :)
so... is notboyfriend quickly becoming morelikeanactualboyfriend?? do notboyfriends usually care if their notgirlfriend's parents like them?
Stupid divorce baggage. It's so hateful.
Amber...Give him a chance...:) Maybe he does care...
Hugs from Iraq!
Amber - Watch out! he'll charm you!
Aren't boys just so darn silly? It is so charming when you see cracks in the nonchalant facade. I feel like I should be calling them "men" at this point, but I just can't!
Transparency can be good....at times!
amber, your parents would love me. then again...who doesnt!
This sounds like good on-line therapy.
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