Nearly a week after meeting my parents, still be analyzing your behavior because you’re worried that they didn’t like you, despite my assurances to the contrary. Oh, and try to frame every question on the subject as if you’re “just curious”, even though you’ve totally already given yourself away.
“So, uh, did I offend your parents the other night?”
“Not at all -- they thought you were great.”
“Oh good. Because I was thinking about it, and I was worried – uh, because, um, well, I uh – usually parents like me.”
“They liked you – I promise.”
And four days later, bring it up again. Because seriously, it’s not like you care, and it's certainly not that you've been thinking about it, you’re just curious. Really.
Oh and also? Pretend that it doesn’t please you to no end that I’m “making” you celebrate your 30th birthday on Sunday. Because, no – I can’t see through that at all.
*"How to Charm Me" tm Dooce