So I pretty much had the best weekend ever, and yet? I didn’t do much besides take naps and basically hang around in my pajamas. If you know me but at all, you know that whenever I’m home, I’m probably wearing pajamas. I love them – I have shelves full of pajama bottoms and t-shirts. Anyway. That’s really neither here nor there.
I slept better the past three nights than I have in at least two weeks. Which is strange, because I don’t generally sleep well when there is someone else in my bed. I’m so used to sleeping alone that the addition of another body throws me off. Also, I don’t like to be snuggled or touched very much when I’m trying to actually sleep. However, in this situation, the opposite is true. I sleep through the night when he’s here and I like to sleep as close to him as I can.
I haven’t written about him because I’m afraid of jinxing it. I’m afraid that he’ll freak out and leave me one day with no explanation – not because that’s how he is (because he’s not) but because it’s happened so many times before. So there’s that aspect. But I also haven’t written about him because I didn’t know what to say. I know what I FEEL but that’s not such an easy thing to translate into writing – I either sound like a sap or else the words don’t say what I mean them to. Or both.
What I will say is that yesterday was a cloudy, cold day. I got home from church and we hung out on the couch in our pajamas, watching football with the fire going. Ok, he watched football, I slept on his lap. I woke up and the house smelled like the pot roast I was cooking in the crock pot. We went to bed early and laid there talking for an hour, then went to sleep. Five a.m. came too soon, but I slept totally peacefully all night.
He’s the best ever – and yes, I realize that I sound like a sap.