Aw, who am I kidding?

I thought it was time to leave, but as it turns out, it wasn't. I'm back.

Can I promise regular posts? No, but then again, who can? Can I promise that I won't tell stories that are really only funny if you were actually there? No, but then again, who can?

When I closed down the blog, it was because I thought I was no longer interesting. Maybe I'm not, but I feel like I lost some of myself when I stopped writing.

I've been living in fear lately of that very thing -- losing myself. Losing myself into the realm of mom - I love Chris and I love the girls, and I love our little family. But no matter how happy I am in that realm, there was always the fear poking at the back of my mind -- am I losing something important here?

My biggest fear was that I would be phased out by my friends -- Becki, Beth, Karen and Kendra. It's stupid, because we've been through pretty much every possible life changing experience together and yet are still as tight as ever, but I was afraid that I would get so wrapped up in what it takes to raise two great little girls that I would no longer have anything in common with my friends who weren't wrapped up in that.

My fears were laid to rest last weekend, when Becki showed up for the weekend. I got to spend a lot of time with her -- just us -- and time with Karen and Kendra as well. I cannot tell you how much I needed that. As cliche as it sounds, it made me realize that as much as things change, some things will always remain the same. There will always be things that make us laugh and laugh and laugh -- waiver rancheros, anyone? -- and there will always be the songs that we know by heart (and sing at the top of our lungs). And what I forgot was that there will always be coversations about whatever is going on in our lives. In high school it was lamenting grades or boys or the unfairness of parents. In our early 20s, it was lamenting hangovers or new jobs, finding apartments and the unfairness of boys. In our late 20s it was lamenting mortgages and health and the fears of the impending future. As life evolves, we've evolved with it, both as individuals and as a group, but even if the subject is serious, there will always be laughter and there will always be good advice from the girls that love me the most.

So thanks to my girls for making me feel like I have balance in my life again, and to Chris, for understanding my fears and encouraging me to spend time with my friends.

So yeah. I'm back! Didja miss me? Because I have a lot of words that REALLY want to come out!