Monday, November 07, 2005

Things that rhyme with "writer's block"

Lots of things rhyme with block. I won’t go into what they are right now, but lots of things do.

First of all, I’d like to show some love to the BRAND NEW EVEN MORE HIGH TECH ergonomic wireless keyboard. I don’t quite know how to work all of your bells and whistles yet, o keyboard my keyboard, but I will learn. Oh yes, I will learn.

Here’s something that I’m having a hard time with, though – this fancy new keyboard curves differently than my other one, and so until I get used to it, it’s typo city around here. I’m going to attempt to type the rest of this post and leave it just the way it is so that you too can enjoy the typing related hijinks. Chances are though, the Word OCD will kick in and I’ll have to change all the misspellings and weird punctuation because I just can’t stand it.

And now that I said that, I can’t think of anything else to write. Actually, I think I’m getting sick, and so Marlene gave me some Advil cold and sinus medicine and I now feel a little silly and probably even more random than usual. I’m warning you of that in advance as well. I’m just full of disclaimers today. Sorry. In advance.

Christmas is coming. I know that for those of you who live under rocks, this is going to come as a great shock, because apparently you didn’t walk into the aisle next to the Halloween costumes back in October and suddenly become confused because it was 70 degrees outside, yet Aisle 7 had already become a veritable winter wonderland. I was somewhere this weekend (yes, I know – that narrows it RIGHT down) and I all of the sudden had the urge to get out all my Christmas decorations. Marlene and I were somewhere recently (again, the specifics are mind-boggling) and I was saying how I was thinking about getting a Christmas tree again this year and she looked at me and said “Oh how quickly the memory fades.” She’s referring to the fact that last year I waged a full-on war against the pine needles in my house. They were EVERYWHERE. I came into work every day with an update of the odd places in which I found pine needles. The last straw (or needle, if you will. And I will) was one day after I had gotten rid of the tree. I was rejoicing over the fall of the pine needle regime, and part of the rejoicing involved taking a shower. I went to turn on the water, and lo and behold, in the bottom of my big bathtub, was one lone pine needle. Laying there, taunting me. Anyway, when Marlene reminded me of the pine needle debacle of ’04, I was like “sure, but this year I have a vacuum that actually WORKS.” What can I say. I’m a sucker for Christmas.

Ok, I’m going to leave you with a shout out to my girls Karen and Kendra – we had dinner with Kendra’s mom on Saturday night and as a result, I think Kendra has a future either as a mime (but I hope not because mimes are scary) or as one of those people who translate for the deaf. Could be either, but whatever it was, it was funny as hell. Even though the rocket scientist at the restaurant wouldn’t give us an ETA on those awesome smelling cinnamon rolls. Jerk.

And yes, no typos = Word OCD. I’m sorry, I just can’t do it.

14 comments:

The Husband said...

by any chance will you be giving out xmas gifts to your loyal and favorite bloggers?!?!?!

Kendra said...

You can't see it, but I'm swaying my hands right this very minute. And it's still funny. :)

Timmortal said...

Wait, Kendra's a mime and you have OCD. This is out of hand people. And because will someone please tell me what the hell ergonomic means. Either that, or just stop using it. One of the two, you choose because heres the deal. I'm going to dinner in a little bit and i would love to throw that word in a sentence but i'll sound like an idiot if im like, Yo, waiter, can i get some of this ergonomic gnocci, and he looks at me and says, whatever you weirdo.

Thank you. Im done now.

Romeo Jensen said...

dante's seventh ring of hell is reserved for bloggers

cough*amber and kendra*cough

who tell inside jokes amongst themselves

I cut a guy off in traffic today with my UPS truck *laughs and says Suuuuucker!* and he gave me a hand signal... evidently I'm number 1

much love... tuck the children in for me... kisses to the west and a mile high

romey

The Zombie Lama said...

Hope you're feeling better soon!
(still waiting for pictures of the gangsta pants...)

;o)

Jill said...

I read all the way through, but I'm still laughing at your opening. Can't seem to get my mind out of the gutter lately.

AFGUY said...

Hmm i agree with jill..my mind is in the gutter on that one too :|

Cheryl said...

Looks good! I waged my own war on pine needles two years ago. I swear I am still finding them.

Marie said...

Yes, I've noticed the Christmas displays recently. It's still just a bit too soon for me. hehe

Alice said...

things that rhyme with writer's block.. smiter's smock? that must be what you were referring to. the, you know, garment you put on for protection before you start smiting people. uh, please ignore anything that comes out of my fingers before i've had coffee in the morning, it's even more insane than usual. also, i hate people who start singing christmas carols anytime before, say, december 10th, because then by xmas i am so sick of carols i want to strangle and maim someone every time i hear them, which is a shame and very much not in the christmas spirit, and it's all the fault of those premature carolers. please take this keyboard away from me, thank you.

The Other Half said...

christmas and holloween decorations on aisles directly adjacent to each other...it was like some evil time warm that i couldn't get out of...

Brian Gardner said...

Before we know it, Halloween will be the lost holiday, and Christmass stuff will start coming out after Labor Day!

Amanda said...

um, congrats on the new keyboard. and i had to post a comment to this because of your absolutely divine extension of the magazine story. writer's block? bah!

appsdshell said...

Can I just say here that Timmortal is H-O-T...HOT!!!!! Hello!

Anyways.. back to what I really was going to say before I started reading your comments....

I just got one of those keyboards and at first I was like you.... type-o city. I still have a hard time with the B for some reason, but I got used to it.