I'm going to kick dating's ass -- unless it kicks mine first.

Ok, so I’m continuing with my recent streak of excellent luck in the dating game. With the last few guys, what usually happens is that I start seeing someone, and THEY start planning for all of the time we will be spending together in the future. I say THEY because usually it’s the girl who’s doing that, but I’ve learned that that’s not the route to go. However, if THEY do it, sometimes I go along with it, and sometimes I’m like “uh, ok.” Admittedly, sometimes I don’t make the best decisions when it comes to relationships. Anyway, this goes on for roughly two weeks, and then THEY freak out. “Oh my god!” THEY say “This is moving too fast!” Really? You’re just now figuring that out? And usually, I agree. I say this in a sarcastic tone because as you may know, hindsight is 20/20. AND because it deflects my actual feelings -- in real life, I like to use sarcasm and humor as a defense mechanism.

So let’s just say that hypothetically, the THEY in this situation is the firefighter. He had been talking a lot about spending time together in the future, and blah blah blah. While this made me happy, I was also pretty skeptical about it, considering my stellar track record over the past year or so. So I didn’t really believe him, but I went along with it, kinda hoping that maybe I’ve just become so jaded that I can’t let down my guard and he really DID mean it. Maybe he did, but I’m really glad I didn’t let my guard down very far. Because today he calls and says something to the effect of “not being ready for this” because “it’s moving pretty fast.” I told him that I agreed with that (which I did – in fact, I was working up the nerve to tell him that, but he saved me the trouble) and so I asked him straight up if he wanted us to stop seeing each other. He said he didn’t know – that it wasn’t something he could decide on quickly and he had to think about it. It was like a two minute phone call.

So ok. Being the optimist that I am, I’m sure he’ll decide NOT to keep seeing me. After overthinking it for most of the day, I decided that I’ll be ok with that eventually (and better by the minute, I’d like to think), even though I’d like to say at this juncture that I’m not sure I EVER WANT TO DATE AGAIN if this is how it’s going to keep being. Because I’m WAY over it.