Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Blah de blah blah

This was one of the funnier conversations I've had on IM in the past few days. I was telling P about something and he was apparently trying to tell me that he understood when all of the sudden there were a series of typing mishaps.

P: Bog ig
P: Got it
A: What is bog ig? Did you have a mild seizure? Are you speaking in tongues?
P: I did have a milk seizure
P: Mild seizure – I’m having trouble over here
A: A milk seizure? Sounds serious!
P: I’m not typing anymore.


He didn't appreciate my hysterical laughing and I'm sure he'll appreciate this even less, but I had to do it. It's just an example of how funny he is -- and this was even unintentional. Aw P -- you know I love you! I tease because I LOVE, remember?

In other news, the boys in boxing have figured out that the slow 11 year old is a pansy. And they don't like it -- I'm just waiting for the day that in the guise of demonstrating, one of those boys knocks him on his ass. Is that wrong? Maybe so, but seriously, Pansy, this is not the place where you're lazy. Don't pretend to run and sit down at every turn. He's big for an eleven year old and I really recommend that he learn all he can or else he's going to have more problems later on. End of diatribe. See how I can multi-task? I'm people watching AND practicing my skillz at the same time. It's necessary -- observing behavior is handy. Wow. Re-reading that I realize I was all over the place. Meh. You get the gist.

I was at P.I.C's house last week one night after boxing and I was hungry so he made me some delicious bagel bites. It was maybe 9:30 or 10 by the time I ate them, and yes, they were delicious. I went home and went to bed, and I was asleep for maybe an hour when I dreamt that I opened my eyes and these giant spiders (and I do mean giant -- like the size of my cats) were crawling off my bedside table onto my bed. I sat up, threw my pillow across the room and turned on the light. I looked all around my bed and there were no spiders, just my cats looking at me like I was crazy. Later that same night, I dreamt that I was being chased by Sloth from "The Goonies" and he was trying to kill me. I had almost escaped when my cell phone rang and it was my dad. He asked if I knew where my mom was because she had gone out to run an errand and never came back. It was 1:30 in the morning when he called -- I'm still dreaming by the way -- and so I started to cry and woke up. I couldn't get a hold of my mom in the morning, so I called my dad at work and was like "Uh, did you see mom this morning?" He had. Phew. The moral of this story is that I can no longer eat delicious bagel bites late at night. Oh, and a couple of nights later I had a dream that I was pregnant. THAT was weird. But it was just a dream, not a premonition or anything -- sadly, it's totally impossible for me to be pregnant right now. And I can say with reasonable certainty that it's not an immaculate conception as I believe that the Lord would think twice about giving ME his son to raise.

So yeah. My life has not become any more interesting. Don't the people I associate with realize that they're going to have to step up the funny? C'mon people -- I need blog material!

12 comments:

Mr. Fabulous said...

Well, perhaps your waking life is not as interesting as you would like, but it seems that your sleeping life is quite a wild ride!

Miladysa said...

My sides are aching I have laughed so hard!

I do not know about blogs but honestly, I want to watch a TV Show named Amber! :)

C. said...

" BabyRuth" little Sloth reference there. : ) Charming and funny as always Amber! Hope you are having a Great Day!

C.

Hope said...

Don't you hate those dreams that feel so real? I had a dream recently that I was pregnant too. In real life I just finished designing a maternity ward, so in the dream I was giving birth in one of the rooms I designed, but Jeff's parents were going to adopt my baby. Don't know why. And the doctors and nurses kept leaving me by myself and I kept crying because I didn't want to be alone. I woke up and was depressed the whole next day.

Anyway, here's hoping something exciting happens in both of our lives soon, because I have no material either.

Sass said...

What I learned from reading Amber's blog today: bagel bites are NOT a bed time snack.

Sloth...ew.

shivers

Cheryl said...

Hilarious. I am laughing with not-so "milk" laughter over here.

Kyahgirl said...

you don't need blog material Amber! You're ramblings are hilarious :-)

Jill said...

Oh my god, I thought I was hysterical at the milk seizure, and then I just loved the bagel bites (mmmmmmm) and then I was like...ohmygod, miss 10 days of Amber because I can't keep up with teaching AND reading blogs and what do I miss, she's boxing? huh? ...but by the time Sloth was chasing you I totally lost it. No more bagel bites? (Wiping away a tear.) By God I've missed you. And God as my witness, I will never miss Amber again. Or go hungry again. Or eat bagel bites near bedtime again. Or something.

Alice said...

i'm pretty sure i must have had a dream i was a lesbian last night, because i keep getting these really guilty flashes today with a residual "i made out with a girl" feeling afterwards. i can't actually remember this dream, but i can't think of any other reason i'd feel guilty about making out with a girl? considering i haven't?

Marissa said...

omg that conversation with you guys was sooooo funny i don't even know what to do! i guess i'll just keep laughing. :) haha.

Marie said...

Oh, okay...I'll try to think up some blog material. In the meantime, how about some more stick drawings? :) I am a huge fan of your work!

Kiki said...

Your dreams have been crazy lately! Maybe it's something you eat/drink right before bed?

In related news, I've been having dreams that involved some type of pornographic material (aka a box of videos etc.).

What's that all about?