I've started about 85 posts and I get about halfway through and I'm like "Ugh. That is so not good. Not good at all." Or else "Gah. Totally looks like you're trying too hard."
The thing about it is, I haven't done anything noteworthy of late. In fact, if we're getting right down to it, I haven't done much of anything period. Due to circumstances beyond my control, there have been a series of, well, issues -- for lack of a better word.
Like that. Right there. I can't remember ever being at a loss for words. Oh sure, maybe if I were shocked about something, I'd get all speechless, but not in everyday conversation. But now? There have been times when my mind literally goes blank -- and the more I try to come up with something to say, the worse it gets. Since I hate my job and everyone knows it, people often ask me "what do you want to do?" And EVERY TIME I go completely blank. My brain is like "does not...compute" and it shuts down while I try to at least come up with something more word-like than "Mmmmm...uhhhhh." I'll tell you what, in the event I get a job interview, I seriously doubt they'll be falling all over themselves to hire me after I wow them with "Mmmmm...uhhhhh."
I've also ceased to care about things that would have previously bothered me to the point of ridiculousness. My new favorite and most used word? Meh. Because "whatever" has three syllables, and frankly, just takes too long to say.
My phone conversations have suffered because not only do I not have anything to say, really, but I also can't muster up the mental energy to try and think of words to put on the blank canvas of my mind. And of course, the blog has suffered because really, when you have nothing to say, it never shows through more than when you write it down.
So. Now that I've explained in 500 words or less why my posts lately have been lame as hell, well, I leave you with these sage words of advice. Mmmmm...uhhhhh. I'm so wise.