Why I don’t HAVE to settle.
Because I got flowers from Karen, presents from Sally and Joe, and Chicago pizza from Dasi. Cards, e-mails, voice mails, text messages, instant messages, vodka tonics, hugs, kisses and snuggles, all from people who love me. More.
So while I may not have a boyfriend, I have PLENTY of love in my life and Valentine’s Day was just like any other day. Because my friends show me love every day.
Beth was talking about perfume today and so it got me to thinking about the smells I love. So here they are. I love household products that smell like "fresh rain". I love candles and room fresheners that smell like "clean cotton". I love the smell of clean clothes. I love the smell of my own perfume -- "Heaven" by the Gap. I love the smell of my mom. I love that when my dad uses the phone before he leaves for work, it smells like his aftershave. I love that my brother has always had a distinct little boy smell, even now. It’s not bad, it’s just Tim smell. I like that when Kendra takes her hair out of a ponytail, it still smells like her shampoo. I love the smell of rain and the smell of barbecques in the summer. I love the smell of Not Boyfriend – when he used to hug me and even after he left, my shirt smelled like him. I love the smell of baby shampoo on baby heads. I love the smell of fall in Winter Park. I love that all these smells remind me of so many good things. MY good things.
Fascinating Ex-Boyfriend Story
Ok Romey, since you’re SO INTERESTED in my ex-boyfriend, here you go. It’s a tale of intrigue and mystery – not really, but there are some parts I will keep to myself. We were together for four years, and we broke up almost exactly two years ago. We loved each other – a lot – but we’d gotten to a place where the next part of moving forward was getting married, and that wasn’t going to happen.
He was 14 years older than me and he had two kids already. He didn’t want to have a second family and that was a dealbreaker for me. I knew that from the beginning, but the heart wants what it wants, I guess. I also never thought we’d be together as long as we were. We started dating when I was 23 and he was 37, and we definitely went through some rocky patches because hello? I was 23 and even though I’d been in two long term relationships already (and engaged once) being with someone my age was completely different than being with someone that much older.
It was a hard break up because we didn’t stop loving each other, but I needed to move on and find someone who wanted what I wanted. Clearly I’m still looking for that – harder than I thought it would be, apparently. Anyway, he and I stayed in touch for a year after we broke up, but in that time, I wasn’t moving on. So we stopped talking altogether. And since then, well, you know the excellent experiences I’ve had in the dating realm.
I used to miss him all the time, but that’s faded. I think about him a lot, mostly in the context of places we’ve been and things we did. But I don’t miss him anymore. I have good memories of our time together and I don’t regret a minute of it. I’m thankful for him and the things I learned from being with him, and that’s that.