Monday, February 27, 2006

Ivy League

If you don’t want to hear about my cats, now would be a good time to stop reading.

Friday night I had it all planned out. P.I.C. and I had decided that we were going to do happy hour. After some discussion about whether to do it “classy” (i.e. a fancy new martini bar) or “dirty” (i.e. some college dive) we decided on classy, as we were both dressed nice that day. No problem. Meet him downtown at his house and we’ll walk to our chosen location(s). Drink copious amounts of delicious beverages and walk back to his house. It’s easy…almost TOO easy.

Did you know ivy is poisonous to cats? I did, but I stupidly figured that since the cats hadn’t ever bothered the ivy plant BEFORE, they would continue to ignore it. Oh no. Not Miss “I Eat Everything I Can Possibly Find”. Especially leaves. She shakes the ficus tree so that more leaves fall for her to bat around and subsequently eat. Because she just doesn’t have enough toys. Oh wait – she ate her sparkle balls as well. So I get up Friday morning to see that she’s puked in about three places in the house. This does not bode well, because the last time this happened (last month), it was because she ate a styrofoam berry and it was blocking her stomach. Dr. Karen to the rescue! Needles! X-Rays! Barium! A night at the vet hospital! You’d think the cat would have learned. But no.

So I had my mom go check on her during the day, and she reported back that as soon as she walked in the door, the Baby Kitty yakked right in front of her. Super. So I left work and went home so I could take her to see Dr. Karen. Needles! X-Rays! IV of Fluid! Medicine! Karen asked Baby Kitty if she wanted to stay with her or go home. The cat looked at her and then bonked her head against her travel crate, so Karen let her go home. She’s not smart enough to not eat poisonous plants, but she apparently knows she doesn’t want to stay at the vet hospital again. I learned my lesson about ivy, although judging from her track record, Baby Kitty will continue to eat stuff she’s not supposed to. Not the tuna or cat treats I give her – oh no. That would be no fun at all. Only things that make me have to spend Saturday morning cleaning the carpet in multiple places in every room of the house because she couldn’t possibly be bothered to barf in the same place twice. Side note: I love going to see Karen at work because I get to go downstairs where all the veterinary magic happens. And since everybody knows me and Barfy McPukerson, well, they don’t mind if I ask a million questions. It’s interesting, what can I say?

By the time I got home, happy hour was way past over, so I went to P.I.C.’s anyway and we went out for sushi. And then watched “Starsky and Hutch.” Because I love Owen Wilson. And because I’m an unstoppable party machine, I fell asleep on his couch. Although in my defense, I actually WAS an unstoppable party machine on Saturday night. More on that later.

So now I have to give Baby Kitty a bunch of medicine every day so that her tummy feels better. I don’t mind (but judging from the scratches on my arms and legs, SHE certainly minds) and neither does the Inspector. He always runs to get INTO the crate, because he thinks that means he’s going somewhere. He likes to ride in the car. Medicine? Sure, he’ll have some. He’ll also have some of that tuna, the cauliflower you don’t want to eat, the rest of the syrup on your plate, the cake batter off of that spoon, and pretty much any other food item in his reach. And if you don’t mind, he’d like to hug you and lick your face. What? You do mind? Too bad. He will hug you and lick your face. He will not be deterred by you pushing him away and repeatedly saying “get off me” because he LOOOOVES you and he wants to make sure you’re fully aware of that. This picture is an accurate representation of what I wake up to most mornings.

Anyway, enough cat stuff for the day. I will have the story of Joe’s birthday extravaganza in the next couple of days – I’m hopefully going to have pictures as well…

15 comments:

Whinger said...

I had no idea about the ivy, but Cat doesn't bother the plants so much now that he gets a weekly supply of grass.

No spoiled cats here.

Nope.

Hope said...

That's a cool picture of the Inspector.

My cat has no interest in eating anything other than her own food, other than, we just learned this weekend, bubble wrap. I don't know if maybe she likes the way it pops in her mouth.

Glad the kitty is okay!

Hope said...

That's a cool picture of the Inspector.

My cat has no interest in eating anything other than her own food, other than, we just learned this weekend, bubble wrap. I don't know if maybe she likes the way it pops in her mouth.

Glad the kitty is okay!

Sass said...

awww baby kitty. that is too funny.


Glad she's feeling better. Have you ever given your cats those electronic mice? My cat Jo wasn't that entertained by it but I am when I get home drunk.

dasi said...

I LOOOVE your kitties!! And just so you feel better about the whole cat puke thing - mine do that all the time. And then try to bury the smell for days on end after I cleaned up - and I SWEAR there is no smell...!! Why do they do this, you ask? Do they eat poisonous plants? Eat styrofoam? Nope. They chow down so darn fast that they puke from overeating. Stupid boys. But I love em anyway!!

Kendra said...

Perhaps we can invest in a steam-cleaner since Baby Kitty and Barley seem to have the same issues with puking lately. I'll check on the price of a nice Bissell and get back to you. :) Also, the pic of the 'spector is great because that's what I see when I come over to be fed and nap on the couch. He loves me and does not care that I'm super-duper allergic. His love knows no allegeries. P.S. When am I coming over to bed fed again?

Mr. Fabulous said...

I love sparkle balls. I eat them every chance I get. They keep me regular.

Romeo Jensen said...

one of our cats eats veggies too... I fed her some pasta primavera that had "seen better days" and the brat licked all the cheese up and then ate the carrots... broccali and green beans... she didnt touch the pasta

Miladysa said...

Hope she is better soon.

Sweet photographs :)

beckibee said...

We love Dr. Karen! She rescued my sister's dog when he ate...wait for it...a NAIL. Ouch.

hope the baby feels better.

Aliecat said...

hahaha! I loved your description of the inspector. That's the way Agent is!

Jenn said...

Barfy McPukerson! Ahahahah! I LOVE YOU! You can talk about toilet paper and make me laugh!

Cheryl said...

Poor Barfy McPukerson. That can't be fun. Poor Amber for having to clean it all up. But hey, sushi and a movie is a good night too!

Nicole said...

Poor baby kitty. My puppy recently had some kind of stomach flu and puked no less than 30 times over a period of five days. Usually in the middle of the night. Thankfully, she knows not to do it on the bed or other furniture. But consequently, my carpet is ruined. Because, like your cat, my dog hasn't quite grasped the concept of choosing one spot to ruin.

Silver lining to this ordeal: She did lose a couple of pounds, and is finally back into her skinny jeans.

Sandra said...

I did NOT know this about ivy and I'm really glad you said!