Thursday, September 08, 2005

My Phone Calling Policy: Amended

"Oh sure, they say they're busy. They say that they didn't have even a moment in their insanely busy day to pick up the phone. It was just that crazy. All lies. With the advent of cell phones and speed dialing, it is almost impossible not to call you.Sometimes I call people from my pants pocket when I don't even mean to. If I were into you, you would be the bright spot in my horribly busy day. Which would be a day that I would never be too busy to call you." -- Greg Behrendt, He's Just Not That Into You

That's one of my favorite lines from that book, and one that I have remembered when HE (whoever HE happens to be at that point in time) doesn't call because he's just too busy. "Whatever," I would say to myself. "Clearly he's not that into me and therefore he is now dead to me (tm Becki)." Except for Not Boyfriend, but hey, every rule has it's exceptions, right?

And now, I'm going to have to revise my stance on the "I'm too busy" excuse. Because seriously, I'm too busy. The only person I talk to pretty much every day is my mom, and a lot of those calls consist of me asking her to run some sort of errand for me because I work 45 minutes away from everything non-work-related and because of that, I leave before most places open and get home after they close. I haven't seen my friend Sandra since June. It took me a week to call back my friend Mandy. I think Kendra went out of town today, but I'm not sure, because the last time I talked to her was Monday. I mean to call you, I want to call you, it's just that suddenly, it's 11 at night and a) it may be too late to call you, or b) I'm pretty tired and don't feel like talking anyway.

I'm not saying "oh you should feel sorry for me because I'm so busy" because that's not it. I like to be busy. The CRAZINESS of the past couple weeks I could probably do without, but I figure eventually it'll calm down. Not sure when that'll be, but it has to be sometime, right?

Bottom line is that I guess I can understand why someone wouldn't call back right away. However, I think when it's your friends you aren't calling back, it's different than someone you like. Because guess what -- I WOULD be the bright spot in your horribly busy day. I'm a hoot. And you would probably be the bright spot in mine. If we ever ended up talking at some point.

P.S. You know who I'm NOT amending this rule for? History Boy. He's out of chances and out of slack, so basically? History. Again. I'm going to have to make a rule about not dating anyone named Shawn/Sean/Shaun or any variation on that, because they're inevitably jerks. And Capricorns. I don't date Capricorns well. I'm just saying.


beckibee said...

I haven't ammended the rule. Dead, I say! Dead!

The Husband said...

you make a very valid point. if you really like someone you will make an effort and call them.

Miladysa said...

I am now up to speed with Not Boyfriend.

I agree with Carl.

Romeo Jensen said...

woot woot... in your face history boy

romey (not a variation of shawn)

dasi said...

So I guess that meant that Mr. South Side was pretty into me, huh? lol

But you're right, with friends it IS different, actually though, they understand more if you ARE busy. With friends, you CAN not call for a week or a month and say you were busy, and they'll understand. Of course, if it is something REALLY important and they leave you a message saying that, they know you'll call them back busy or not. With GUYS, though - into you? Call. No matter what. Or you totally blow your chances.

Does any of that make sense? It is too early for me to do anything but ramble incoherently right now, but I wanted to comment anyway.

Stephanie said...

I couldn't agree more Amber. (Although not a huge fan of making the exception for Not Boyfriend- although I DO completely understand.) Boy, that speaks volumes for the way some of the men in my past have treated me- and vice versa for that matter. Bravo on figuring that out! Self-actualization is a great thing, isn't it?

Kiki said...

In total agreement. And Virgo's are usually my bad match. :)

Beth said...

The whole calling thing has gotten so complicated in dating. I hate that every idiot has decided, based on "Swingers," that they can't call someone within 3 days of meeting.
But I guess calling rules are a good idea if you have crush-impaired judgment. It gives you something to cling to when your brain is temporarily addled by a good makeout session.

Alice said...

i wish i could remember my exes' bdays, because now i want to figure out if i have an astrological bad-dating trend..! unfortunately, i'm lucky if i remember my own sister's bday, ex boyfriends are outta luck..

appsdshell said...

I hear ya on the names! I don't date guys who's names start with J. My ex husband was Joel and my ex bf was Jerry. Thank God I met David!

I totally agree, that you call someone you like/in-like with and Love because they make you smile and it's nice just to hear their voice. Just as long as it's not too obsessive in a stalker kind of way.

undercover celebrity said...

Now, miss Amber, you know I love you... but common, someone's got to point out that you're clearly not too busy to blog. :)

(and I'm thankful for it) :)

Amber said...

I was wondering when someone was going to say that... : )

Thomas said...

What is your "passenger pigeon" policy? That is what I really want to hear about.

Austin's Wonderland said...

I'm pissed now! Where is my daily phone call...Busy Smusy call me you jerk...JK

Romeo Jensen said...

RE your comment on my post:

because she used to be so hot and it pains me to see her so rank and white trash because of her ferret faced wanna be husband. He's gross and he's takin' her down with him!

okay Amber... step away from the chocolate

woot woot you goooo girl

trish said...

I absolutely agree about the name thing. I have had enough of Kevin, Kelvin & Calvins. Everytime I meet anyone with tht name, my spider senses go off the wall!

Linda said...

Can I just tell you how you've made MY life easier with your new rule about not dating a Shawn/Sean/Shaun?? Because it's hard enough keeping up with your love life without the added confusion of duplicating names, no matter how they spell it. Play around with the spelling of Ass Hat all you want. So I thank you, and look forward to continuing to live vicariously through you!

Ariel1980 said...

How weird is it nowadays that the "none message" has become "the message"? That our friends expect us to madly scrutinize our caller ID logs to see that their numbers were there? Case in point:

"I called you. Why didn't you call me back?"

"You did? When?"


"Did you leave a message?"

"No, I figured you'd see me on your caller ID and instinctively know I wanted you to call me back. It takes too long to listen to your greeting."

"Five seconds is too long?"

So obviously, it is now too much to expect our friends to even BOTHER to leave us a voicemail...and you're worried about calling back?!!

At least you DO call back, which is more than I can say for the "none message messager." Oy vey.

Paul said...

Maybe you should print out and laminate your rules and make them available in wallet sizes for those potential new boyfriends?

Get everything out of the way up front!

Amanda said...

i hear you, girl...but i definitely love the quote from that book. i saw that guy on oprah...he seems a little shady and his points went along the lines of common sense but good to be reassured nonetheless.

Amy said...

All along I thought my relationship with a Sean didn't work out because he was Canadian (and man, did I do my best to get beyond his bad pronunciation of "process, drama and pasta"! Thanks for clearing that up! I'll make a note - NO MORE SEANS!