Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Word Association

I've been totally uninspired in the writing department for the last few days. And therefore, we're going to do what psychologists like to call "word association." I'll say a word and then say the first thing that comes to my mind. Here it is:

University of Colorado Law Library – Overwhelming
I’m taking “Nonprofit Legal and Governmental Issues” this term, and for our second class last night, we met at the CU law library, because my school doesn’t have a law library. Anyway, it was amazing. I love the regular library – I know, shocking – but the law library is a completely different story. If my thoughts regarding going to law school after I get my masters weren’t already dashed ($90,000 in loans just doesn’t seem that great to me), the ultra-confusing law library sealed the deal. I’m going to have to get over it though – I have a research paper due in six weeks that will require going to the library.

Brakes – Shot
So for the past month or so, my emergency brake light would come on when I would be using my regular brakes. Because I’m just so “car savvy,” I figured it was simply a wire that my blatant disregard for speed bumps had loosened. When I went to get an oil change today, they looked at my brakes, and lo and behold, it wasn’t just a loose wire. Turns out, I had no front brakes. At all. Before you roll your eyes about how dumb I am about cars, I would like to say that I got new brakes last summer, and I have NEVER had to get brakes on a yearly basis. Plus, my car is relatively new. Anyway, I ended up not making it to work because I had to wait while our mechanic fixed my brakes. Luckily, because our mechanic rocks, he fixed them for a grand total of – $6. Even though it’s technically been more than a year since they did them last, the warranty was up, but they were cool about it. Probably because we take all our cars there. Moral of the story: not having brakes is a bad thing, but when the fixing of said brakes prevents me from spending yet another torturous day at work, well, I’m alright with that.

Job – Misery
So I have had two “phone interviews” in the last couple of weeks, and I found out yesterday that the job I really wanted I did NOT get. It was like turning off a light switch – instantaneously my glimmer of hope was gone and I had an overwhelming feeling that I will be trapped in this job forever. I wanted to throw up. I can’t explain to you how much I hate my job. There are no words. All I can do is keep sending out resumes and have faith that the job that is best for me is out there and everything happens for a reason. Some days it’s harder than others. Yesterday was definitely that day.

Not Boyfriend – ?
So I saw Not Boyfriend on Saturday night. Keep in mind, this was the first time I’ve seen him in 8 months. And amazingly, it was as if no time had passed. We talked and talked and talked and there were no awkward silences and absolutely zero weirdness. I love him. Not “those three little words” love, but like “I absolutely adore you” love. Different. I love that we can talk forever about anything and everything, and it’s never small talk. It’s conversation. I love that he makes me laugh all the time, but tells me serious things as well. I love the way he kisses me (yes, I kissed him – actually, he kissed me because I was not about to instigate that) and I love the way he smells. Even better, I love the way my shirt smells like him after he leaves. Of the four or five guys I’ve dated since we stopped talking in January, not one has come close to him in the “what I want” department. The closest has been Bachelor #2, and he’s not out of the running, but there are extenuating circumstances in his case. At any rate, I adore Not Boyfriend. I want him to be Actual Boyfriend. But as the above question mark denotes, the status of that is uncertain at this point. He’s got his own extenuating circumstances, but things are changing (for the better) for him right now, so I’ll chill and see what happens. But for now? I loooooooove him.

***Oh, and also? If you feel like catching up on the Saga of Not Boyfriend? Check out "A Boy and his Dog" He shows up in a few other early blogs, but that one is expressly about him.

14 comments:

Cheryl said...

I have to add based on your comment on the Bored at Work Experiment: Renee Zellweger=Potato.

That totally cracked me up and I couldn't agree more.

The Zombie Lama said...

lazy blogger lately=me

:o)

J.Morgan said...

Cheryl, I'll play too:

Renee Zellweger = waifish has been who will probably be divorced soon

Cheryl said...

How about Renee Z=Where are your eyes?

I think we've started a new game!

Edge said...

I hope your boyfriend works out.

Stephanie said...

Amber, here's my word association:

Not Boyfriend - not worth it!

Bachelor #2 - want to hear more about him!

My mouth- doesn't stop! I understand about not-boyfriend... I had one for quite awhile myself. But those non-committal guys are just FRUSTRATING! Set your sights on nice could-be-nice-boyfriends-if-AMBER-decides-she-wants-them-and-not-the-other-way-around-boyfriends. Those are the ones that will treat you right!

dasi said...

Amber I missed you! Good to see you back - I thought maybe you got lost in cyberspace.

I have not one shred of advice as far as Not-Boyfriend, since I obviously am SOOO not good at relationships in general. Which you obviously already know based on TBOTE and Mr. South Side. But good luck anyway, I hope it all works out the way you want it to.

As far as the job – my mom always told me if you loved your job, it wouldn’t be called “work.” Which is true, I guess, but it still sucks. I can relate – but unlike you, I don’t have as many options when it comes to switching jobs. I’m kind of stuck here on account of several reasons. At least your glimmer of hope can shine again, mine has been permanently shuffed.

Sorry for the rambling comment, but you have been gone SOOOO LONG!!!

Alice said...

aiiiee the notboyfriends of the world... so tempting, so tantalizing.. and never "so actually a boyfriend." darn them all to heck.

job. bad. i hear ya. i can't believe you're doing school on top of it all... i want to collapse on my couch and watch really bad tv until my eyes fall out every day after work, i can't imagine doing school instead!

Miladysa said...

Really sorry about the job :(

Going to look into your archives and read more about Not Boyfriend!

Timmortal said...

6 Dollar brakes? Are you sure that's a good idea in the mountains?

Amanda said...

oh, how i loved how you described kissing...i need to kiss someone...maybe i'll make that my weekend mission. scary about the brakes!!!

beckibee said...

Not bf was dead to me. Great. Now I have to mentally put him in the ICU, as he's be resuscitated.

Beth said...

The CU Law Library is the best -- it's so quiet there. That was where I used to go to study as the main library was pretty much a pick-up joint.

Victoria Winters said...

Hey - new reader.
I miss my home-state, so I hope you're enjoying it. Sucks about CU, though. As for the job - keep trying, something better will cime along. As for the boy-smell, I totally know what you mean. I love my Huz's smell - I call it kissing breath. hmmmmm....nice.