Monday, September 12, 2005

Notes from Stream of Consciousness Central

Oh the interesting ways people get to my site. Apparently when someone types in “What does it mean when your boyfriend tells you that the timing is off?” in the Yahoo search engine, I come up as result number 12. I think that's totally funny. And actually, a little sad -- does this person have no one they can talk to about this and they've resorted to using the Yahoo search engine? That's sad! However, you know, since they asked and all, here is my advice: Unless he has a stellar reason for saying that? He’s trying to break up with you. Pretty soon you’ll get the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ line, followed by ‘I’m at a place in my life where I really just need to focus on ME.’ And yes, I know—hello pot? This is the kettle. You’re black – but hey, I live by my own rules and that means I can give out sensible advice to others without ever heeding said advice myself. Because when I make up the rules? I can change them at will. That’s why it’s great to live by my rules.

So every day I take the exit from 6th avenue to C-470 in order to get home. Quite a while ago, a skunk got run over there. The skunk must have been drunk (as a skunk? Ha) or high, because for the life of me, I can’t figure out why he would think it was a good idea to cross one four-lane highway in order to get to more concrete and more cars whizzing by. I guess we’ll never know. What I do know is that that damn skunk is still there and I’m so grossed out. Seriously, I live in the foothills of Colorado -- where are the hawks and other natural roadkill predators? Because after all this time, it’s now less actual skunk and more clumps of fur and other stuff required for decomposition. And every day, even if I tell myself not to, I look at it. I can’t help it. And every day, my gag reflex kicks in and I’m like “gaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!” It’s just nasty. I feel like calling whatever city or county is in charge of that exit and tell them “Hey, next time someone wants to ‘adopt a highway,’ could you direct them to that particular exit? And could they adopt it with a bucket of water and some push brooms? Like, yesterday? Thanks.” Ew.

So I have mentioned once or twice that I hate my job? Ah – I thought so. I sent out four more resumes today. Once I finish the homework I’ve been procrastinating, I’m going to send out more. I’m trying to ignore the words of an email I got last week that keep ringing in my head “Thank you for your interest in this position (blah blah blah). It was a difficult decision, as we received over 300 applications.” THREE HUNDRED?? This THIS is what I’m up against. At least in the non-profit world. But I keep sending out resumes and hoping that today will be the day that I’m exactly what they were looking for.

You know how a certain song or artist will remind you immediately of a time or event or person in your life? Most of the time I love that, but sometimes, I have to fight through the (insert negative emotion here) memories of the end of a relationship so that I don’t have to stop listening to a particular artist who reminds me of someone I don’t especially want to be reminded of. Past examples include Dave Matthews (Dave’s a survivor – he’s weathered two breakups) and Sting (one relationship and one friendship – good work, Sting). The most recent example is History Boy. In case you forgot, he is now dead to me. However, when we were younger, he LOVED Depeche Mode, and as a result, I always associate him with that band. I have come to really like them over the years, and I refuse to let the fact that he’s a monumental ass overshadow the fact that they’re an awesome band and I love them. So I will continue to listen to Depeche Mode in defiance of him and his lame excuses. HA!

And finally, in case you were on the edge of your seat, saying to yourself “Self, has Amber heard from Not Boyfriend since they saw each other last?” I would answer that yes, he called on Thursday to say “hi” before he left for the weekend to go hunting. Must…push…down…hope…

22 comments:

Hope said...

whatever happened to bachelor #2?

and another question: while you're looking for a new job are you telling the places you're applying to not to contact your current employer? because I want to start looking for a new job soon, but I don't know if I want my current boss to know, so what do you do?

Kiki said...

I get people who find my site by typing in the strangest things. You would crack up if I could find them all. Usually they are perverted things.

It's hard not to look at the roadkill. I know. Don't want to but ya gotta.

There with ya on the job hatage. I mine as well.

Romeo Jensen said...

remember amber... once a monumental ass... always a monumental ass
show that history boy to da door!

as to depeche mode??? arent they like from like... last century???

good luck wid the job hunt
romey

Marie said...

That's funny about the search engine thing. I find the most peculiar phrases and words used in search engines in finding their way to my blog. hehe

I so know what you mean about the music and associating bands or songs to certain memories- good and bad.

Great post, girl!

Miladysa said...

I am starting to worry about this searches business. I have no idea who is searching what to get to my blog! I am unsure if I want to know which ones are freaks!

Depeche Mode are an awesome band - boo Romey (his parents seem such nice people too)

What did happen to #2 Amber?

Alistair! said...

Not Boyfriend! This guy is an ass and he's stringing you along. Find someone who deserves you. Hummmm...roadkill.

AAAARGH...meltdown...meltdown....we cannae hold hurr together much longer Captain!

Cheryl said...

Yeah, what about bachelor #2? I miss him!

I hate my job too. Seriously, we're livinf parallel lives I think. I am sure you're going to find something.

Thomas said...

Cheryl are you having to choose between a bachelor #1 and a bachelor #2 too?

trish said...

Man, I hate seeing roadkill. It really upsets me...My ex used to distract me everytime he saw another fur patch on the street. And if tht doesnt work, he would argue with me till I agreed tht it was just a shoe/garbage bag/mushed up box and not a cat...I miss him

Rachwell said...

Roadkill is the worst.

I am the same about songs and artists, certain song trigger memories that I would much rather leave behind.

dasi said...

Roadkill, possible and ex-boyfriends, and a job you hate.... hmmmmm, do I sense a connection between the three???

Stephanie said...

Amber- you crack me up. I don't know too many people who could talk about road kill and really really mean it like you do! lol

I was going to ask the same question that 3 or so other people asked. Bachelor #2? Did he jump a cliff? Where did he run off to? History Boy: pffft! Dead to me too! Let's talk more about Bachelor #2!

Cheryl said...

Thomas, I have no bachelors to choose from...

Gia said...
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Gia said...

Certain songs always take me back down memory lane too. I enjoy reading your blog. Its a great read.

The Zombie Lama said...

Oh yeah, there are several songs I can't listen to because of my ex-wife. Shame too, I used to like some of those...

Jenn said...

I was just telling a friend last night how much I can't stand to see roadkill.

Not Boyfriend better get on it soon! Or else!

appsdshell said...
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appsdshell said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
appsdshell said...

Roadkill also disgusts me, especailly if it's a poor cat or a dog. I'll never forget the day I was driving to work and an enormous dogs body was spread all over the highway. It was horrible, especailly since I couldn't avoid running over part of it.

All I could think about is the neglect of the owner and how the dog must have jumped out of the back of a truck or something, which is why it totally pisses me off to see a dog in the back of a truck.

Amanda said...

don't you almost wish you could put a crappy boyfriend and the job, figureatively, along side the roadkill? they all just seem to go so well together, as dasi said. i just resigned my job to start freelancing...woohoo! you should too!

Pheebs said...

hahhahaah I totally agree about the part where you said it's kind of sad they don't have anyone to talk to about it...apparently my blog's come up as a result when "the medication is not enough to make me forget what he did to me," is typed in...go figure!!