Actual conversation with my brother yesterday…
Tim: Hey! You’re the sixth hot chick to call me today!
Amber: You’re so popular. I don’t know how you do it.
Tim: I know.
Amber: So what do you want for Christmas?
Tim: I don’t know, what do you want?
Amber: Well, I want a digital camera and an iPod. Neither of which I expect you to get me. I’m pretty sure mom and dad are getting me the camera. I might have to remind them.
Tim: I want money
Amber: Don’t we all
Tim: So the other day I was looking for an extra phone cord, and I knew we’d have one because dad has tons of crap like that, and I found a pile of cds that I think he got us for Christmas. And one of them? Was Cheech and Chong.
Amber: Well, clearly THAT one is for YOU
Tim: I KNOW! Which then makes me wonder “hey, exactly WHEN could I smoke pot with dad…?”
Amber: Well, a while ago when mom one time found a pipe and your stash in your room, she threw the pot away and I was like “What?! Mom! That’s expensive!” and she said “That’s exactly what your dad said – I swear, if I hadn’t made him stop smoking pot in our garage after you were born, he’d probably still be smoking today!” So I’m thinking maybe he’d do it.
Tim: I think it would be a great family bonding experience
Amber: Hey! Duh. I’ll get you POT for Christmas! I can’t believe I didn’t think of it before!
Tim: That would be cool.
So I’ve been trying to make plans with one of my friends from elementary school to go out for drinks. We were going to go last night, but I realized that my next set of aunts and uncles were coming to town on Saturday and I needed to get the tree put up in order to avoid my mom being like “where are all your decorations? Don’t you want our company to see them? Blaaaaahhh.” She wouldn't actually say the "blaaaaahhh" part, but you know how moms are. So I emailed him and told him I needed to get the tree put up – maybe next week would work better? So I get an email back saying “Blown off for a tree. That’s a first.” So I explained to him the logic behind needing to get the tree decorated and I’m like “Blown off for a tree. Ha. At least you know I'm being honest -- I couldn't MAKE that stuff up.” And I get the following email back from him – and I laughed out loud.
“See... I don't know about your excuse. It's lame alright... lame like a fox!
It's either so bad that it can't possibly be a lie OR you realized if you came up with a really bad excuse I couldn't possibly think you're making it up. And iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows. And Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me. So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you...”
In case you don’t know pretty much EVERY LINE of The Princess Bride (as I do) you wouldn’t get the iocane reference. But it made me think that our elementary school must have put something in the water or something because the wit? Of my friends from there? AWESOME.
And because I know he’s reading this – I think July of ’06 just…might…work…
Oh, and speaking of the tree? I went and picked it out, and then when I went back at 7:30 to pick it up (after the guy at the lot ASSURED me he'd be there until 8:30) I waited for 30 minutes and he never showed up. Apparently "be right back" (which was the sign on the fence) is totally subjective. I'm getting my tree tonight and I'm getting it at a reduced price. Says me.