Friday, December 09, 2005

A banner day for amusing conversations...

Actual conversation with my brother yesterday…

Tim: Hey! You’re the sixth hot chick to call me today!
Amber: You’re so popular. I don’t know how you do it.
Tim: I know.
Amber: So what do you want for Christmas?
Tim: I don’t know, what do you want?
Amber: Well, I want a digital camera and an iPod. Neither of which I expect you to get me. I’m pretty sure mom and dad are getting me the camera. I might have to remind them.
Tim: I want money
Amber: Don’t we all
Tim: So the other day I was looking for an extra phone cord, and I knew we’d have one because dad has tons of crap like that, and I found a pile of cds that I think he got us for Christmas. And one of them? Was Cheech and Chong.
Amber: Well, clearly THAT one is for YOU
Tim: I KNOW! Which then makes me wonder “hey, exactly WHEN could I smoke pot with dad…?”
Amber: Well, a while ago when mom one time found a pipe and your stash in your room, she threw the pot away and I was like “What?! Mom! That’s expensive!” and she said “That’s exactly what your dad said – I swear, if I hadn’t made him stop smoking pot in our garage after you were born, he’d probably still be smoking today!” So I’m thinking maybe he’d do it.
Tim: I think it would be a great family bonding experience
Amber: Hey! Duh. I’ll get you POT for Christmas! I can’t believe I didn’t think of it before!
Tim: That would be cool.

---------------------------------------------------

So I’ve been trying to make plans with one of my friends from elementary school to go out for drinks. We were going to go last night, but I realized that my next set of aunts and uncles were coming to town on Saturday and I needed to get the tree put up in order to avoid my mom being like “where are all your decorations? Don’t you want our company to see them? Blaaaaahhh.” She wouldn't actually say the "blaaaaahhh" part, but you know how moms are. So I emailed him and told him I needed to get the tree put up – maybe next week would work better? So I get an email back saying “Blown off for a tree. That’s a first.” So I explained to him the logic behind needing to get the tree decorated and I’m like “Blown off for a tree. Ha. At least you know I'm being honest -- I couldn't MAKE that stuff up.” And I get the following email back from him – and I laughed out loud.

“See... I don't know about your excuse. It's lame alright... lame like a fox!

It's either so bad that it can't possibly be a lie OR you realized if you came up with a really bad excuse I couldn't possibly think you're making it up. And iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows. And Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me. So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you...”

In case you don’t know pretty much EVERY LINE of The Princess Bride (as I do) you wouldn’t get the iocane reference. But it made me think that our elementary school must have put something in the water or something because the wit? Of my friends from there? AWESOME.

And because I know he’s reading this – I think July of ’06 just…might…work…


Oh, and speaking of the tree? I went and picked it out, and then when I went back at 7:30 to pick it up (after the guy at the lot ASSURED me he'd be there until 8:30) I waited for 30 minutes and he never showed up. Apparently "be right back" (which was the sign on the fence) is totally subjective. I'm getting my tree tonight and I'm getting it at a reduced price. Says me.

18 comments:

Edge said...

Your intellect is truly dizzying ...

~Jef

Edge said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Stephanie said...

Ummm... that conversation with your brother. Ummm... hmmm. lol

Dude. It seems that everyone is experience Christmas tree debacles of thier own this year. Good luck getting a discount!

C. said...

You go girl.... Get that tree damnit! lol.... :)

C.

Whinger said...

Everyone from your elementary school IS particularly brilliant and funny.

And watch that particular elementary friend. You'll think you're going out for one drink and then the next thing you know, what with all the hilarity, you're sneaking into the house at 2:15, which causes disapproving looks from Third Grandma in the morning.

Or so I've heard.

The Husband said...

what kind of bastard tells you to show up later and then he doesn't show up himself? i say cut his balls next time you are there.

Karen said...

Word on the street is that some of your high school friends are equally as witty and funny.
We're getting our tree tonight. I'm so excited, I will try to find the biggest and tallest tree available.

Hope said...

Ha. I love that your dad smoked pot in the garage before you were born. It explains some things, does it not?

And if that's what you're getting your brother for Christmas can I spend the holidays with your family?

Miladysa said...

LOL! Speechless :)

Cheryl said...

Clearly you all have dizzying intellects.

And that's one of the things we love about you Amber!

You'll meet up with him eventually. Until then tell him to sleep wella nd dream of large women. (or not)

Marie said...

Awesome conversation with your brother. I love it. And that e-mail response had ME laughing out loud as well. I am huge fan of "The Princess Bride" so I knew that quote exactly. HILARIOUS! hehe...Have fun trimming the tree later, girl! :)

Marissa said...

Love both the conversations between you and your brother and you and your elementary school friend - seriously, the wit, out of control! :)

The Other Half said...

i love that movie!! cute conversations...

Thomas said...

Awwwwwwwwww.

Romeo Jensen said...

my dad smokes pot still... actually I was gunna (and still may... you'll see it) use it in an upcomg ManWhoreMan episode... they going out to the garage part... thats where dad smoked it. Have you ever smoked?
I've never done it... not even cigs... guess the whole thing just turns me off cause my parents both did it

oh... and did u happen to see hi-lights of the bear / steeler game sunday... nice job of keeping the weather in denver oh weather stopper girl... NOT! :)

how can I stay upset with such a hawt... errrr cute girl as you

romey <~~~ amber toast

Chief Slacker said...

Hehe nice! Here's to family bonding. I say you make your next excuse that you're starting a land war in asia ;O)

lil'bitty said...

That is just inconceivable. Maybe the Christmas tree guy was out fishing in eel infested waters that night.
Have you ever read the book? Much better detail and back ground. It is better to see the movie and then read the book because you get all the characters fleshed out for you. I have a secret about S. Morgenstern if you really want to know it. It will change the way you look at The Princess Bride entirely.

Kyahgirl said...

I just watched that movie last week!