Thursday, January 12, 2006

Because I feel like I should post something

This is what you get. Not witty, not creative. Because my life is not altogether that interesting right now. I mean, a girl can't sit behind the bench at the Avs game EVERY night. She can WISH she were, but it probably won't happen. So here you go. Tidbits of conversations.

J: …I’m telling you, you should definitely go to a strip club when you’re in Vegas. Here’s the thing…
A: Hold up -- I’ve told you what my song would be if I were a stripper, right?
J: Wait, what? What would it be?
A: Cowboy by Kid Rock. And I’d wear boots and a hat. Anyway, what were you saying?
J: What?
A: You said “here’s the thing…”
J: Yeah. I don’t remember.

Here’s where I don’t transcribe for you the conversation between Kendra, Karen and I last night regarding the horrors of childbirth that no one ever tells you about. Don’t get me wrong, I still want to have kids, but the horrors? They will be in the back of my mind…

C: …It’s a nice day and I decided “hey, I’ll wear shorts today.” So I’m welding away, and all of the sudden, I smell something burning. I’m like “what the hell?”
A: Was it your leg hair?
C: It was MY SHORTS. I was like “Stop drop and roll! STOP DROP AND ROLL!” and then, once the fire was out, when I looked down, about a quarter of the leg of my shorts was burned away. And also all of the hair on my leg.
A: *Laughing* I’m sure THAT looks attractive.
C: Yeah. I was just going to try and play it off, but then later I was at the gym and this guy comes up to me and says “what happened to your leg?” So I went home and shaved both my legs. And if you tell anyone, I’ll totally deny it.
A: *Laughing at the mental picture of manly Mr. Welder boy shaving his legs*
C:
Plus, I got my hair cut and shaved my beard so now, with my smooth legs? I look like a 10 year old.

And that my friends, is the product of me when my life is boring.

22 comments:

Whinger said...

Still funny. :)

Jill said...

Sucks to be him. Poor guy. But this might make him feel better. At Colin's expense.

Marie said...

You have the funniest conversations! I don't find them or you boring in the least. hehe

Girl Next Door said...

No, wait! That's good stuff! That's what good posts are made of.

My strip song would be "Over and Over" with Nelly and Tim McGraw. oooohh I get the shivers thinking of it.

But, you have some great friends!

GNDTX

Hope said...

I think my stripper song might be Honky Tonk Woman by the Stones. You and I could be a country act.

"And if you tell anyone, I’ll totally deny it." - and yet you posted it all over the internets!

Alice said...

oh... crap... i didn't know i was supposed to have a stripper song! ack! i'd better get on this. maybe i'd do "you're beautiful" by james blunt except have it rerecorded so it says "I'M beautiful." yeah. um.. i'll keep working on it.

Miladysa said...

lol! I wonder what "the thing" was? :)

Entertaining Amber, never boring!

Amanda said...

i've choreographed your dance to "cowboy" using the hat as a prop. i'll send you my notes. :)

Sass said...

I know some pretty hott cyclists and gym buffs who shave their legs and chest hair. It kind of freaks me out. The chest, okay. But when a guys legs are smoother than mine - we have a definite problem.

It's January - there's not much going on anywhere.

C. said...

I would love to see that "Cowboy" act there Amber..:) If you need someone to try that out on and make sure all your steps, moves, etc... are right, "I'M Your Huckleberry"...

C.

Kyahgirl said...

its all good amber. And hey, childbirth isn't always a nightmare. I had my babies really late in life so had years and years of sitting through everyone's horror stories. I sure I was going to be ripped to pieces after laboring for days!
I had both my babies without any pain medication, mostly because they came so fast there wasn't time. And, a week after they were born, I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight.
Now, here's an important tip for when you do have babies...try to have them in an upright position. For my second delivery, I was on my knees, the back of the bed rolled up vertical so I could rest on it in between contractions. It worked great. For my first baby, I was on my back, mostly because I arrived in an ambulance in a great rush and they didn't want to do anything fancy. My butt hurt for a week after that delivery, even though the baby was way smaller, being 6 weeks early and all. Is this way too much information for your blog amber? sorry, maybe I should go talk about this at my place....But wait, yesterday you said Mi Casa es Su Casa...so I guess we're ok. We just need some wine to go along with these types of conversations!

Cheryl said...

And yet, it still sounds interesting.

Edge said...

I'll go with "I'm a little tea pot" and I would dress like Angela Landsbury or Captain Kangaroo. Was that too much information? I'd move around like Elaine on Seinfeld for my choreography.

~Jef

The Other Half said...

nice...i've never known anybody to actually have to use the stop drop and roll thing!!

My New Blog!

dasi said...

Amber, I can't imagine your life EVER being boring! It seems to me that where you're concerned, even BORING is interesting. My stripper song? "We Don't Have to Take our Clothes Off." Because honestly? I wouldn't!! ;)

C. said...

Amber, I agree with Dasi about your life being boring.. There is just no way.. It's not like you have to enter a bunch of stuff in the computer or anything. :).. besides that's just work.... Hope you have a fantastic weekend! I think I will go see if there is a new special story to read about.. ;)

C.

Marissa said...

Hilarious conversations! Okay my life is so boring that not only do I have nothing to write about - I don't even have the motivation to write!!!

ShyRocket said...

Classic!

Sandra said...

"Cowboy" is a great stripper song. White hat and boots, right? Cool.

Romeo Jensen said...

k... u need to come to pittsburgh the next time the avs are in town... my dad still has connections and we can get you into the locker room... no shit! u wanna meet hinote in person? However... I would have pegged you more of a Patice Brisebois girl.

Romeo Jensen said...

oh I forgot to mention... bring your cowboy boots and hat

yippie ty yi yeah

European said...

*grin*