Monday, January 23, 2006

How to spend an excellent weekend…

Friday – spend most of the day at the mall wandering around with someone awesome. I mean really, how is that not a good day? There was breakfast, there was coffee, there was the wandering and the chatting and the awesome. Good times. Then go meet your friends from grad school for drinks and dinner downtown. Make fun of the large boy in the shirt that says “BMF” and conclude that the only thing that could possibly stand for is “big mother f***er.” Therefore, be stealth about making fun of him because getting your ass kicked is no way to end a great day. Contemplate whether the guy in the blue polyester leisure suit with the GINORMOUS afro is participating in some sort of hazing ritual. And is that his real hair? When your friends suggest you go pull it, just to see, decline politely, reminding them that he is with the BMF. And you like your nose just where it’s currently situated on your face, thanks.

Saturday – Hang around in your pajamas all morning. Meet Sally and Mandy for lunch. Go to best bra store IN THE WORLD. This place seriously makes Victoria’s Secret look like the bra section at Kmart. Wait 40 minutes for your turn to be fitted. Covet a blue silk robe Get over any sort of modesty issues you might have as the salesgirl fits you for bras. Covet the blue silk robe again. Decide on some bras, and decide that owning those is more important than buying groceries. Between you and Mandy, spend about $700 on six bras. Agree that it was totally worth it because these bras? Make you look HOT. Look longingly at blue silk robe as you go out the door. Go home, bake a cake and head over to the house of your Partner in Crime (or, “The Notorious P.I.C” as I call him). Watch season 2 of “Arrested Development” while laughing your ass off. Eat cake and pizza and drink champagne. Fall asleep on the couch no later than 11. Because you’re a party ANIMAL. Wake up and go home, realizing that all too soon, the alarm will be going off for you to get up for church. Also realize that this sucks.

Sunday – Go to church, stay there for what seems like forever. Eat lunch at your parents’ house and go home with the intention of taking a looooong nap. Turn on your computer – just to check your email real quick – and see that your friend Chris who is in Croatia is online and you haven’t talked to him in like a week. Talk to him and find out that he’s coming to Montana for camp this summer! Yay! All of your months of pestering have finally paid off, although in reality, his reasons for coming to camp actually have nothing really to do with you. However, that’s not the point. Yay! Just as you’re about to take a nap, get a call from Joe saying to come over and watch the rest of the game and eat dinner. Skip the nap entirely, go to the nearly deserted mall with your mom (where you walk around commenting under your breath about the way kids these days dress), and then head over to Joe and Sally’s to see the last minutes of the Broncos getting their asses handed to them. Chill in the recliner, eat some dinner, watch the Seahawks game and then The Sopranos. Go home and call it a night at 8:45. Awesome.

Which brings us to today. Stupid work. Oh and also? Since the Broncos lost, Romey, you’re getting your topless picture. I’m always up for a bet, and it was a pretty pathetic loss. SO. Check back tomorrow.

Oh, and since we’re on the subject, I was wondering why suddenly, strangers who come here think it’s totally fine to leave comments about how I must be yummy in bed or how I should come to their blog for the coffee and stay for the sex? What. The. Hell?

21 comments:

Sass said...

Sounds like an invitation to make a porno. That's rough talk for a Monday morning. I've got three friends trying to talk me into doing a batchlorette auction. I have a hard enough time trying to find someone to take me out let alone being bought and paid for. But visiting a blog for coffee? Insert porn Cowboy song here.

Whinger said...

You're just looking for an excuse to show off the new bras. Admit it.

Ew to smarmy commenters.

Stephanie said...

Wow! Sounds like a great weekend!

And about your little stalker friends?

Well that's just wierd.

Kellie said...

Is it bad that I am curious about the topless pic and how you're going to pull this off?

Kellie said...

DUDE! I also got the coffee and sex post.

Sorry for the double post... lol

Hope said...

I think I NEED to go to that bra store. I've only found one type of bra in the whole world that I think actually fits me. So I bought 4.

And your weekend sounds so much more fun than mine. I totally drank two beers on Friday night and then proceded to fall asleep on the couch only to wake up at 9:30 (PM) with a big drool stain on my sweater.

Romeo Jensen said...

OhhhhhMyGaaaaawd this must be Chrisatmas eve! cause tomorrow is def gunna be Christmas!!!

yeah I saw that comment yesterday... I was like dude... you dont even know ambo and her morality... so bite me

someguys... geesh?

Don't you hate it when guys are forward like that (hehehehehe)

Anyway babe... I'm gunna be logging on in here sometime around midnight (Rocky Mountain Time... like ummm 3:47 pm my time I think) and I'll be hitting refresh every 5 seconds

*awaits high fives from the other guys that read Ambo's blog*

dasi said...

I am shocked and appalled. Horrible people, really! But I am glad you had such a great weekend. I did too, doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. ;)

Kyahgirl said...

Sounds like a great weekend.
Don't know what to say about the awful commentor. Just yuck.

Marissa said...

Awesome weekend! Mine was slightly traumatic due to a touch-and-go computer incident.

J to the fucking C said...

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You are hot. I have totally risen and shit.

beckibee said...

I'm sorry about the soliciting you online thing. I guess I thought we were friends. I thought things wouldn't get "wheird." ;)

C. said...

Hey Amber! Sounds like some exciting news! Your hot and stuff, and I love Starbucks.. : )

C.

Marie said...

Yeah, you've been getting some "interesting" random comments. You even have "Jesus Christ" coming around after your booty. ;)

I have a feeling your site traffic will be at a major high tomorrow.

Romeo Jensen said...

I bet you thought I was kidding about the midnight stuff huh?
*hits refresh*

Jenn said...

Now that sounds like a weekend to me! I did something pretty similar last weekend. Or no, the weekend before. No wait, it was for sure the weekend before that. No, really this time.

As for the bloggers with the dumb comments, one word, DOUCHEBAGS!

Cheryl said...

What? I missed that comment. Time to backtrack. I just started watching Arrested Development and i LOVE it. Getting season 2 from Netflix tonight.

I think that anyone who hazes with afros and leisure suits is just not worth it.

Excellent weekend.

Leesa said...

Amber - I just wrote my post for tomorrow. I know you are probably not a regular reader of my tripe, but please don't be offended when I post it tomorrow morning (if you happen to see it). I am attempting humor, and it may backfire.

The Husband said...

hi amber.

Timmortal said...

Umm..excuse me. I'm here for the porno audition?

Jon said...

Fun weekend...

$700 for 6 bras? Are you Efing kidding me? They better be sizzling.

Came in through the window that Romey left open... *wink*