Friday – spend most of the day at the mall wandering around with someone awesome. I mean really, how is that not a good day? There was breakfast, there was coffee, there was the wandering and the chatting and the awesome. Good times. Then go meet your friends from grad school for drinks and dinner downtown. Make fun of the large boy in the shirt that says “BMF” and conclude that the only thing that could possibly stand for is “big mother f***er.” Therefore, be stealth about making fun of him because getting your ass kicked is no way to end a great day. Contemplate whether the guy in the blue polyester leisure suit with the GINORMOUS afro is participating in some sort of hazing ritual. And is that his real hair? When your friends suggest you go pull it, just to see, decline politely, reminding them that he is with the BMF. And you like your nose just where it’s currently situated on your face, thanks.
Saturday – Hang around in your pajamas all morning. Meet Sally and Mandy for lunch. Go to best bra store IN THE WORLD. This place seriously makes Victoria’s Secret look like the bra section at Kmart. Wait 40 minutes for your turn to be fitted. Covet a blue silk robe Get over any sort of modesty issues you might have as the salesgirl fits you for bras. Covet the blue silk robe again. Decide on some bras, and decide that owning those is more important than buying groceries. Between you and Mandy, spend about $700 on six bras. Agree that it was totally worth it because these bras? Make you look HOT. Look longingly at blue silk robe as you go out the door. Go home, bake a cake and head over to the house of your Partner in Crime (or, “The Notorious P.I.C” as I call him). Watch season 2 of “Arrested Development” while laughing your ass off. Eat cake and pizza and drink champagne. Fall asleep on the couch no later than 11. Because you’re a party ANIMAL. Wake up and go home, realizing that all too soon, the alarm will be going off for you to get up for church. Also realize that this sucks.
Sunday – Go to church, stay there for what seems like forever. Eat lunch at your parents’ house and go home with the intention of taking a looooong nap. Turn on your computer – just to check your email real quick – and see that your friend Chris who is in Croatia is online and you haven’t talked to him in like a week. Talk to him and find out that he’s coming to Montana for camp this summer! Yay! All of your months of pestering have finally paid off, although in reality, his reasons for coming to camp actually have nothing really to do with you. However, that’s not the point. Yay! Just as you’re about to take a nap, get a call from Joe saying to come over and watch the rest of the game and eat dinner. Skip the nap entirely, go to the nearly deserted mall with your mom (where you walk around commenting under your breath about the way kids these days dress), and then head over to Joe and Sally’s to see the last minutes of the Broncos getting their asses handed to them. Chill in the recliner, eat some dinner, watch the Seahawks game and then The Sopranos. Go home and call it a night at 8:45. Awesome.
Which brings us to today. Stupid work. Oh and also? Since the Broncos lost, Romey, you’re getting your topless picture. I’m always up for a bet, and it was a pretty pathetic loss. SO. Check back tomorrow.
Oh, and since we’re on the subject, I was wondering why suddenly, strangers who come here think it’s totally fine to leave comments about how I must be yummy in bed or how I should come to their blog for the coffee and stay for the sex? What. The. Hell?