I got nothin’. No funny stories, no topless pictures, no witty. I mean, I have tons of stuff to write about, and I might, but that’s not the stuff that gets posted. I admire people like Cheryl and Tim because they talk about things that are hard for them and they express it so well. Marissa and Sass also have a way with words and can talk about their feelings honestly. Dasi tells wrenching stories from her past and is also really honest.
I’m not that person. Don’t get me wrong – I’m real and I’m genuine and I'm honest, and in real life, I would probably let you in – maybe too much. But on here, it’s easier and safer for me to keep some things to myself. In fact, it’s not just here – in my real life, I keep a lot to myself because I don’t like to show what I perceive in myself to be weakness. I don’t like to be dependent on anyone else. So there are lots of things that I don’t talk about. The hard things. The sad things. The things that occupy my head and that I use this blog to forget about. The things that make me wish I didn’t live alone.
I love living alone, but the thing that is hard for me is that I miss being touched. I am a touchy feely person – I will hug you and sit close to you and snuggle you and lay my head on your shoulder. I want someone who I can do all of that with and not have to even talk if I don’t want to. Because sometimes I can’t. It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s that I literally can’t. And the people that I can’t talk to are the ones that I want to talk to the most.
So yeah. Today I have no funny stories. Today I just don’t have a lot of words.