Wednesday, January 18, 2006

On behalf of my city...

...I sincerely apologize. I'm two songs into the American Idol audition special that was filmed in Denver and OH DEAR GOD. MAKE IT STOP.

Seriously. I'm so sorry. Not everyone in Denver is this crazy or tone deaf.

"Everyone seemed to have a special skill." Yeah, Seacrest. Except singing isn't one of those skills, apparently.

"Rockers" -- yes, if you mean "Off their rockers." Damn. Please stop.

"I've only ever sang in front of a turkey." I seriously laughed out loud and all through the commercials. Sweet little cowboy. But he made it through. Up next: his first ever trip on a plane.

I wonder if these people are just delusional or mildly retarded...this is exemplified by "Flawless" and his fellow "entrepre-ture-entrepreneur." What I'm getting from Flawless is that what he's singing? It is your song. And that's all there is to it, mostly because he doesn't really know the rest of the words. If Elton John were dead, he'd be spinning in his grave. Oh god. His buddy "Inventor Ben" (who, by the way is undefeated in Chess for the past 3 years) is singing "If I Only Had A Brain" -- it's not just appropriate, it's downright PROPHETIC. Sigh. Also I may have overstated the term "singing." Because it wasn't, really.

Hmm. Zach. Dasi warned me about this. I got nothin'. Seriously. Stunned into...nothin'. WAIT. His family is...interesting. His sister wears white frosty lipstick. It looks, uh, stunning. Yep. Stunning. You know, like she drank some chalky white substance and didn't notice that it was totally covering her lips. But the best part was that the show put in the song "The Crying Game" as he walked away from the audition. Because Zach? May or may not be a chick.

Ok. That's it. I have to turn the channel immediately so as not to get sucked into "Skating with Celebrities."

29 comments:

Oreos said...

it's amazing how everyone thinks they sing well though, and that it's the judges who don't recognise talent...

The Other Half said...

i was LMAO!!! and then i thought about you...c'mon amber...you know you tried out!!

Miss Scarlet said...

Ha, I saw the little cowboy, it was cute how excited he was though. The show is the cheesiest of cheesy though.

C. said...

"She Bangs, She bangs.. ooo baby..she moves she moves... ooo baby... in the voice of William Hoang.... :) Hope you had a terrific day today Ambs... New post to come....Very busy at fire station today..

C.

Marissa said...

HAHAHA! I watched it, too. I was DYING. Hilarious. I also watched Skating with the Celebs or whatever. I'm uspet b/c my teen idol, Debbie Gibson, wasn't nearly as good as I wanted her to be!

Marie said...

LOL! I missed out on that, apparently. And I'm definitely not going to watch the Skating with Celebs show. lol

Miladysa said...

After reading this I am thankful that it is not being broadcast here.

Is Simon Cowell a judge on that show?

Hope said...

I was totally watching and going, "I bet that Flawless guy is one of Amber's exes that she's always writing about!" Kidding! God, I love that show!

lil'bitty said...

You have to watch skating with the celebs. That is the only "doing something that no one really cares about with celebrities" show that could involve the celeb getting maimed and/or killed. And isn't that why we watch this stuff. . . . so we can see some B-lister celeb bust it on TV. The higher the embarrassment factor, the more likely we are to watch.

Jenn said...

Damnit, I missed it! I'm so outta the loop when it comes to TV stuff.

Amber, sing for us!

Sass said...

I missed it entirely. Damn plane delays.

Kiki said...

I missed American Idol, but I saw that first guy in Denver. He was so convinced that he was bringing it...but it was not broughtin.
:)

Kendra said...

Thank you for standing up for Denver...and also, why weren't you at the auditions? :)

Cheryl said...

LOL! I saw a few minutes of Denver and they didn't represent well at all.

dasi said...

Oh, Hope, you are SOOO out of the loop! Amber's boyfriend was the big bald guy. Only she dated him when he had hair, right Amber??

I'm glad you understand my inability to focus last night during Zachary's performance!

Kyahgirl said...

just back away from the TV Amber, and no one gets hurt!

C. said...

Where are you????? I am so bored!!!!! :)

C.

Alice said...

aren't these first few weeks of idol THE BEST? after this it's blah blah blah, sing sing sing... i want EMBARASSMENT. i want HUMULIATION. i want delusional folks who think they can sing. awwwww yeah :-)

Marie said...

You should have auditioned, Amber! You would have kicked that pants off the rest of the Denver crowd. ;)

Nicole said...

As a singer, I should be appalled by this show. But I find it strangely fascinating. And the auditions are my favorite part. Seriously, where do they find these people?

Rico said...

it was an amazing display of the unamazing, yet they were amazing. Simply amazing...

Romeo Jensen said...

okay heres the deal

if the broncos win I'll post a pic of me topless

if the steelers win (yeah... Im going there) we get to see the big and little kitties and no I dont mean your cats

gooooo steelers

Mike said...

I was really begining to wonder! :) What was up with that boy that looked, talked and acted like a girl, but could not sing? Too funny!

Sandra said...

I thought the Denver folks were good. I think lots of people only watch Idol at the beginning of the season, then once it's narrowed down to actual talented people it's boring.

Romeo Jensen said...

awwww... sorry bout your broncos babydoll... seriously cause I really dont care about the steelers... however... it's time we discuss terms...

now I'd like a full on frontal upper nudity shot... some modesty is accepted (artsey shots allowed) and of course I wont be right clicking and saving the pic to my hard drive then emailing it around the wwwebby-pooh

that would be just wrong

Romeo Jensen said...

oh and you guys that read ambers blog... you can all thank me later :)

Van! said...

Um... I bet your yummy.....in bed?

Kellie said...

oh wow. American Idol. I love the auditions. And I always kick myself for not auditioning.

thus is my life.

Datingmaster, Jerusalem said...

this si so cool
you will be famous and very rich
anyway come over and read my poem
maybe it could work as asong
come over for coffee stay for sex