...I sincerely apologize. I'm two songs into the American Idol audition special that was filmed in Denver and OH DEAR GOD. MAKE IT STOP.
Seriously. I'm so sorry. Not everyone in Denver is this crazy or tone deaf.
"Everyone seemed to have a special skill." Yeah, Seacrest. Except singing isn't one of those skills, apparently.
"Rockers" -- yes, if you mean "Off their rockers." Damn. Please stop.
"I've only ever sang in front of a turkey." I seriously laughed out loud and all through the commercials. Sweet little cowboy. But he made it through. Up next: his first ever trip on a plane.
I wonder if these people are just delusional or mildly retarded...this is exemplified by "Flawless" and his fellow "entrepre-ture-entrepreneur." What I'm getting from Flawless is that what he's singing? It is your song. And that's all there is to it, mostly because he doesn't really know the rest of the words. If Elton John were dead, he'd be spinning in his grave. Oh god. His buddy "Inventor Ben" (who, by the way is undefeated in Chess for the past 3 years) is singing "If I Only Had A Brain" -- it's not just appropriate, it's downright PROPHETIC. Sigh. Also I may have overstated the term "singing." Because it wasn't, really.
Hmm. Zach. Dasi warned me about this. I got nothin'. Seriously. Stunned into...nothin'. WAIT. His family is...interesting. His sister wears white frosty lipstick. It looks, uh, stunning. Yep. Stunning. You know, like she drank some chalky white substance and didn't notice that it was totally covering her lips. But the best part was that the show put in the song "The Crying Game" as he walked away from the audition. Because Zach? May or may not be a chick.
Ok. That's it. I have to turn the channel immediately so as not to get sucked into "Skating with Celebrities."